Last Call Review of draft-campbell-sip-messaging-smime-03
review-campbell-sip-messaging-smime-03-genart-lc-yee-2018-10-08-00

Request Review of draft-campbell-sip-messaging-smime
Requested rev. no specific revision
Type Last Call Review
Team General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) (genart)
Deadline 2018-10-10
Requested 2018-09-12
Other Reviews Secdir Last Call review of -03 by Liang Xia
Review State Completed
Reviewer Peter Yee
Review review-campbell-sip-messaging-smime-03-genart-lc-yee-2018-10-08
Posted at https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/gen-art/_jI3DxjBV4IY2dT0zmz6hfqHumI
Reviewed rev. 03
Review result Ready with Nits
Draft last updated 2018-10-08
Review completed: 2018-10-08

Review
review-campbell-sip-messaging-smime-03-genart-lc-yee-2018-10-08

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Document: draft-campbell-sip-messaging-smime-03
Reviewer: Peter Yee
Review Date: 2018-10-08
IETF LC End Date: 2018-10-10
IESG Telechat date: 2018-10-25

Summary:  This draft updates and clarifies the use of S/MIME with SIP and MSRP to provide end-to-end message protection.  A few nits should be corrected and there are a couple of requests listed as minor issues, but those can be safely ignored.  [Ready with nits]

Major issues: None

Minor issues:

Section 10/Appendix A:  It would be good to supply the private keys used for signing and encryption in the example messages so that implementers can test the correctness of their implementations against the RFC.  As it stands, the examples mostly serve to show format.

Page 22, 2nd full paragraph, 2nd sentence: mention is made of information that would have otherwise been encrypted.  It's not clear how use of S/MIME is inducing that information to be sent in the clear rather than encrypted.  Perhaps a brief explanation would help rather than relying on "certain cases".

Nits/editorial comments: 

Page 1, header: remove "RFC" in three places in the "Updates" header.  (Run idnits nad read through the output.  There's more.)

Page 3, Section 1, 5th paragraph, last sentence: append a comma after "RFC 3428".

Page 4, Section 3, 1st paragraph, 1st sentence: change "SIP based" to "SIP-based".

Page 4, Section 3, 4th paragraph, delete an extraneous space before "already".

Page 5, 1st paragraph, 1st sentence: change "send" to "sent".

Page 5, 2nd paragraph: append "to" after "intended".

Page 7, 2nd paragraph after "id-aes128-CBC", 1st sentence: append algorithm after "AES-128-WRAP" *or* change "AES-128-WRAP" to "AES-128 wrap" as given in RFC 3565.

Page 7, 3rd paragraph after id-aes128-wrap, 2nd sentence: append "algorithm" after (ECDH).  Do something similar for the next two sentences.

Page 7, Secion 4.3, 1st sentence: expand UAC here on first use.

Page 8, section 4.4.1, 1st paragraph: insert "as" before "a SIP URI".

Page 9, 6th paragraph: change "received" to "receive".

Page 9, 8th paragraph: change "out of band" to "out-of-band".

Page 10, Section 7.3, 1st paragraph, last sentence: insert a double quote before "Unsupported".

Page 12, Section 8.3, 3rd paragraph, 2nd to last sentence: change "s/mime" to "S/MIME".

Page 13, Section 8.4, 2nd paragraph, 2nd sentence: change "answer" to "answerer".

Page 13, Section 8.4, 2nd paragraph, 3rd sentence: delete duplicated "the".

Page 13, Section 8.5, 1st paragraph, 2nd sentence: delete duplicated "since".

Page 14, 1st full paragraph, last sentence: change "Intant" to "Instant".

Page 14, Section 9.2, 1st sentence: append a space after "mechanism".

Page 15, Section 10, 1st paragraph, 3rd sentence: join "over" and "running" into a single word.

Page 15, Section 10, 2nd paragraph: if you wish to be historically correct, insert "Mr." before "Watson".  That would, however, cause a painful exercise in regenerating the examples, so feel free to ignore this suggestion.

Page 15, section 10.1, 1st paragraph, 2nd sentence: change "a" to "an" unless "smime" is not pronounced "ess-mime".

Page 22, 1st partial paragraph, last sentence: change "vulnerabile" to "vulnerable".