Last Call Review of draft-holmberg-dispatch-rfc7315-updates-07
review-holmberg-dispatch-rfc7315-updates-07-genart-lc-droms-2016-07-06-00

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Document: draft-holmberg-dispatch-rfc7315-updates-07

Reviewer: Ralph Droms

Review Date: 2016-07-05

IETF LC End Date: 2016-07-18

IESG Telechat date: <unknown>

Summary: This draft is basically ready for publication, but has nits that
should be fixed before publication.

Major issues: None

Minor issues:

I had some difficulty unraveling the relationship among the text in section
3.3.2, 3.3.3, 4 and RFC 7315.  Section 3.3.2 specifies the inclusion of the
NPLI option in the P-Access-Network-Info header field.  Section 4 does not
include text about the NPLI option in the updates to RFC 7315, and I can't find
any reference to the NPLI option in RFC 7315.  Is the intention that the text
in section 3.3.2 constitutes new Internet Standard behavior, not reflected in
the update to RFC 7315, am I missing something or am I completely confused?

Section 3.3.3 specifies the inclusion of the IOI option in the
P-Charging-Vector header field.  In this case, I am not sure if this
specification represents a change to  existing text in RFC 7315 or new behavior.

I would be happy to hear that I am completely confused; otherwise, I suggest
some text be added to clarify that sections 3.3.2 and 3.3.3 also specify some
behaviors in addition to explaining the text in section 4.

Nits/editorial comments:

In section 3.2, it would reduce potential confusion to consistently name the
header field referenced in each bullet; e.g.:

OLD:

  o  P-Called-Party-ID: Delete statement that the header field can

     appear in SIP responses.  Add statement that the P-Called-Party-ID

     header field can appear in the SIP REFER method.

NEW:

  o  P-Called-Party-ID: Delete statement that the P-Called-Party-ID

     header field can appear in SIP responses.  Add statement that

     the P-Called-Party-ID header field can appear in the SIP REFER method.

Section 3.3.1:

OLD:

  This following sections describe, for individual P- header fields,

  the 3GPP use-cases that are base for the updates.

NEW:

  The following sections describe, for individual P- header fields,

  the 3GPP use-cases that are the basis for the updates.

Section 3.3.2: uniformly capitalize "Network Provided Location Information".

Section 3.3.2: 3GPP TS 23.228 needs a citation of the referenced document.