Last Call Review of draft-ietf-6tisch-architecture-20
review-ietf-6tisch-architecture-20-genart-lc-dupont-2019-07-01-00

Request Review of draft-ietf-6tisch-architecture
Requested rev. no specific revision (document currently at 30)
Type Last Call Review
Team General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) (genart)
Deadline 2019-06-26
Requested 2019-06-12
Authors Pascal Thubert
Draft last updated 2019-07-01
Completed reviews Intdir Early review of -19 by Carlos Pignataro (diff)
Iotdir Early review of -19 by Eliot Lear (diff)
Rtgdir Last Call review of -21 by Andy Malis (diff)
Tsvart Last Call review of -20 by Gorry Fairhurst (diff)
Genart Last Call review of -20 by Francis Dupont (diff)
Secdir Last Call review of -21 by David Mandelberg (diff)
Opsdir Last Call review of -22 by Qin Wu (diff)
Secdir Telechat review of -24 by David Mandelberg (diff)
Assignment Reviewer Francis Dupont 
State Completed
Review review-ietf-6tisch-architecture-20-genart-lc-dupont-2019-07-01
Posted at https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/gen-art/QyyyjuTB4PPlk_Cv2eDmLaC-Soo
Reviewed rev. 20 (document currently at 30)
Review result Ready
Review completed: 2019-07-01

Review
review-ietf-6tisch-architecture-20-genart-lc-dupont-2019-07-01

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
like any other last call comments.

For more information, please see the FAQ at

<https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Document: draft-ietf-6tisch-architecture-20.txt
Reviewer: Francis Dupont
Review Date: 20190633
IETF LC End Date: 20190626
IESG Telechat date: unknown

Summary: Ready

Major issues: None

Minor issues: None

Nits/editorial comments:
 - 1 page 3: the IT abbrev is not introduced

 - 2.1 page 5 (bundle), page 9 (slotOffset), 4.61 page 38 (2.): i.e. -> i.e.,

 - 2.1 page 6 (chunk): missing closing parenthesis

 - 2.1 page 9 (Track): the text says the root is the destination. IMHO
   the DODAG has an unique leaf which is the destination?

 - 3.1 page 12: please expand the PCE abbrev here (first occurrence,
   note the expansion is in 3.3. page 15: you can move or duplicate it).

 - 3.2 page 14: the 6LBR ... need -> needs

 - 4.2.2 pafge 25 figure 6: there are multiple arrows for the RS. I believe
   it is a way to figure multicasting?

 - 4.3.1.1 page 27, 4.3.3 page 29, 4.5.3 page 35 (3 times), 4.7.1.2 page 42:
    e.g. -> e.g.,

 - 4.6 page 37: 
    one or more destination(s) 6TiSCH node(s)
  ->
    one or more destination 6TiSCH nodes

Spelling:
 - 1 page 3: undated -> updated
 - 4.1.1 page 21: settig -> setting
 - 4.3.3. page 29: infoirmation -> information
 - 4.3.3 page 29: behaviour -> behavior
 - 4.4 page 33: multithop -> multihop
 - 4.7.1.1 page 42: dependant -> dependent
 - 7.1 page 51: implementaton -> implementation
 - A page 60 (PAW): Predicatable -> Predictable  

At the exception of the DODAG root in Track definition there is nothing
which can't be done by the RFC Editor so could require a new version.

Regards

Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr