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Last Call Review of draft-ietf-6tisch-architecture-22
review-ietf-6tisch-architecture-22-opsdir-lc-wu-2019-06-26-00

Request Review of draft-ietf-6tisch-architecture
Requested revision No specific revision (document currently at 30)
Type Last Call Review
Team Ops Directorate (opsdir)
Deadline 2019-06-26
Requested 2019-06-12
Authors Pascal Thubert
I-D last updated 2019-06-26
Completed reviews Intdir Early review of -19 by Carlos Pignataro (diff)
Iotdir Early review of -19 by Eliot Lear (diff)
Rtgdir Last Call review of -21 by Andrew G. Malis (diff)
Tsvart Last Call review of -20 by Gorry Fairhurst (diff)
Genart Last Call review of -20 by Francis Dupont (diff)
Secdir Last Call review of -21 by David Mandelberg (diff)
Opsdir Last Call review of -22 by Qin Wu (diff)
Secdir Telechat review of -24 by David Mandelberg (diff)
Assignment Reviewer Qin Wu
State Completed
Request Last Call review on draft-ietf-6tisch-architecture by Ops Directorate Assigned
Posted at https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/ops-dir/xL5P-jh4d2a68YE50WjlS1FQf1o
Reviewed revision 22 (document currently at 30)
Result Has issues
Completed 2019-06-26
review-ietf-6tisch-architecture-22-opsdir-lc-wu-2019-06-26-00
I have reviewed this document as part of the Operational directorate's ongoing
effort to review all IETF documents being processed by the IESG.  These
comments were written with the intent of improving the operational aspects of
the IETF drafts. Comments that are not addressed in last call may be included
in AD reviews during the IESG review.  Document editors and WG chairs should
treat these comments just like any other last call comments.

This document describes a network architecture that provides low- latency,
low-jitter and high-reliability packet delivery.  It combines a high-speed
powered backbone and subnetworks using IEEE
 802.15.4 time-slotted channel hopping (TSCH) to meet the requirements of
 LowPower wireless deterministic applications.

Major issue:
Not found

Minor issue:
By looking at high level architecture section, it is hard to create a whole
picture for what this architecture looks like and how these architecture
component can be put together. Also architecture components defined in
architecture component section seem not to align with high level architecture
section. For Some architecture component,e.g.,Communication Paradigms and
Interaction Models, Network access and addressing haven't appeared in the high
level architecture first. A few editorial comments and suggestions 1.Section 1
IT and OT should be part of terminology section too. 2.Section 2 ND-proxying
and binding should provide reference,e.g.,RFC4389 3.Section 3 I think
Architecture Components Defined in section 4 should be consistent with high
level architecture, e.g.,Network access and Adressing component seems not to be
discussed in high level architecture section. 4. Section 3.1 figure1 NME and
PCE should be part of terminology section 5.Section 4.3.1.1,1st paragraph The
first sentence should not belong to this section since this  section focuses on
introduction of Hard cell. 6.Section 4.3.1.1, Section 4.3.1.2 Two section seesm
only to discuss how to use hard cells or soft cell, but doesn't define what it
is. Please clarify the difference between hard cell or soft cell 7. Section 4.4
How this section is related to high level architecture described in section 3
8. Section 4.5.3 The content in section 4.5.3 is badly written and hard to
understand. By reading the first paragraph of section 4.5.3, it is hard to get
sense of what remote monitoring and schedule management means and how
reproduced figure 10 is related to remote monitoring and schedule management.
How Remote monitoring and schedule management is different from other
scheduling mechanism. Please rewrite. 9. Section 7 Too many thanks in the
acknowledgment section, suggest to simplify it. 10.Appendix A not sure the
importance of this part and how these related work are related to architecture
or section 2.3.  Suggest to remove this appendix or consolidate some text with
section 2.3.