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Last Call Review of draft-ietf-6tisch-msf-16
review-ietf-6tisch-msf-16-secdir-lc-eastlake-2020-07-10-00

Request Review of draft-ietf-6tisch-msf
Requested revision No specific revision (document currently at 18)
Type Last Call Review
Team Security Area Directorate (secdir)
Deadline 2020-02-27
Requested 2020-02-13
Authors Tengfei Chang , Mališa Vučinić , Xavier Vilajosana , Simon Duquennoy , Diego Roberto Dujovne
Draft last updated 2020-07-10
Completed reviews Genart Last Call review of -10 by Vijay K. Gurbani (diff)
Secdir Last Call review of -16 by Donald E. Eastlake 3rd (diff)
Genart Telechat review of -11 by Vijay K. Gurbani (diff)
Assignment Reviewer Donald E. Eastlake 3rd
State Completed
Review review-ietf-6tisch-msf-16-secdir-lc-eastlake-2020-07-10
Posted at https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/secdir/I4-d6Kp08e1bvGZ-5VqcRpcnwZY
Reviewed revision 16 (document currently at 18)
Result Has Issues
Completed 2020-07-05
review-ietf-6tisch-msf-16-secdir-lc-eastlake-2020-07-10-00
I have reviewed this document as part of the security directorate's ongoing
effort to review all IETF documents being processed by the IESG.  Document
editors and WG chairs should treat these comments just like any other
comments. Sorry this review is so late.

The summary of the review is Ready with a minor issue.

Security:

I have no objection to anything in the Security Considerations section.
However, I find it odd that this section does not mention confidentiality
or authentication at all. I think it needs a few words added. Perhaps, in
the first paragraph of the Security Considerations section, the following
change, assuming it is correct:
"The security considrations of the specifications continue to apply in the
MSF scope." -> "Confidentiality and authentication of MSF control and data
traffic is provided by these specifications whose security considerations
continue to apply to MSF."

Nits:

Section 2, top of page 5: garble. ",wh ile" -> ", while".

Section 3, page 6:

   - "the AutoTxCell and AutoRxCell are collided" -> "the AutoTxCell and
   AutoRxCell collide"
   - "In case in a backs-off period" -> "When in a back-off period"
   - "autonomous cells take precedence over negotiated cell" -> "autonomous
   cells take precedence over negotiated cells"
   - "possible for negotiated cell" -> "possible for a negotiated cell"

Section 5, page 9: "Without specific declaring, all cells" -> "Without
specific declaration, all cells" or just "All cells"

Section 5.1, page 9: ", most cases" -> ", in most cases"

Section 5.2, top of page 11:

   - "For burst traffic type" -> "For bursty traffic"
   - "It is recommended to set MAX_NUM_CELLS value at least 4x of the
   maximum number of used cells in a slot frame in recent history." ->
   "Setting MAC_NUM_CELLS to a value at least 4x the recent maximum number of
   cells used in a slot frame is RECOMMENDED."

There are references to outdated drafts. I usually just omit the version
number in my drafts that reference other drafts eliminating this.

Thanks,
Donald
===============================
 Donald E. Eastlake 3rd   +1-508-333-2270 (cell)
 2386 Panoramic Circle, Apopka, FL 32703 USA
 d3e3e3@gmail.com