Early Review of draft-ietf-bess-evpn-ac-aware-bundling-03
review-ietf-bess-evpn-ac-aware-bundling-03-genart-early-housley-2023-10-20-00

Request Review of draft-ietf-bess-evpn-ac-aware-bundling-03
Requested revision 03 (document currently at 05)
Type Early Review
Team General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) (genart)
Deadline 2023-11-03
Requested 2023-10-18
Requested by Stephane Litkowski
Authors Ali Sajassi , Luc André Burdet , Mankamana Prasad Mishra , Jorge Rabadan , John Drake
I-D last updated 2025-07-07 (Latest revision 2025-07-07)
Completed reviews Genart Early review of -03 by Russ Housley (diff)
Rtgdir Early review of -01 by Mach Chen (diff)
Comments 
Need to have some feedback on overall readability of the document.
Assignment Reviewer Russ Housley
State Completed
Request Early review on draft-ietf-bess-evpn-ac-aware-bundling by General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) Assigned
Posted at https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/gen-art/Cv-BamqshKS6gEPVMKeYih74qhU
Reviewed revision 03 (document currently at 05)
Result Almost ready
Completed 2023-10-20
review-ietf-bess-evpn-ac-aware-bundling-03-genart-early-housley-2023-10-20-00
I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
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by the IESG for the IETF Chair. Please wait for direction from your
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Document: draft-ietf-bess-evpn-ac-aware-bundling-03
Reviewer: Russ Housley
Review Date: 2023-10-20
IETF LC End Date: unknown
IESG Telechat date: unknown

Summary: Almost Ready


Major Concerns:

Section 8: Please clearly identify the IANA registry.


Minor Concerns:

General: Several places, the document includes reference of the form
"[RFC7432] section x.y.z".  It would be much more clear to use the form
"Section x.y.z of [RFC7432]".

Section 6.1 has "attachment circuit ID Extended Community" below the
figure.  Is this a caption?  If so, please center the caption and add a
figure number.


Nits:

General: s/draft/document/ (prepare for publication as an RFC)

Abstract: s/EVPN (Ethernet VPNs) provides/An EVPN (Ethernet VPN) provides/

Section 1: s/This draft proposes/This document specifies/

Section 1.1: s/MAC-2 it can not determine which AC this MAC belongs to/
              /MAC-2, it can not determine the AC associated with this MAC/

Section 1.2: s/which subnet this IGMP membership request belong to/
              /which subnet this IGMP membership request belongs/

Section 1.2: s/forearded to/forwarded to/

Section 3: s/multiple VLAN are configured on/multiple VLAN are configured/

Section 3: s/defined in [RFC7432]/defined in [RFC7432]./

Section 4.1.1.2: s/non multihome/non-multihomed/

Section 4.1.1.2: s/defined in [RFC7432]/defined in [RFC7432]./

Section 4.2.1: s/section 13.1/Section 13.1./

Section 4.2.2: s/in [RFC7432]/in [RFC7432]./

Section 5: s/In this case/In this case,/

Section 6.2: s/is faily large/is fairly large/

Section 6.2: s/This approach is complexifying/This approach adds complexity to/

Section 6.2: s/There is drawback/There is a drawback/