Early Review of draft-ietf-bess-evpn-ac-aware-bundling-03
review-ietf-bess-evpn-ac-aware-bundling-03-genart-early-housley-2023-10-20-00
Request | Review of | draft-ietf-bess-evpn-ac-aware-bundling-03 |
---|---|---|
Requested revision | 03 (document currently at 04) | |
Type | Early Review | |
Team | General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) (genart) | |
Deadline | 2023-11-03 | |
Requested | 2023-10-18 | |
Requested by | Stephane Litkowski | |
Authors | Ali Sajassi , Mankamana Prasad Mishra , Samir Thoria , Jorge Rabadan , John Drake | |
I-D last updated | 2023-10-20 | |
Completed reviews |
Genart Early review of -03
by Russ Housley
(diff)
Rtgdir Early review of -01 by Mach Chen (diff) |
|
Comments |
Need to have some feedback on overall readability of the document. |
|
Assignment | Reviewer | Russ Housley |
State | Completed | |
Request | Early review on draft-ietf-bess-evpn-ac-aware-bundling by General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) Assigned | |
Posted at | https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/gen-art/Cv-BamqshKS6gEPVMKeYih74qhU | |
Reviewed revision | 03 (document currently at 04) | |
Result | Almost ready | |
Completed | 2023-10-20 |
review-ietf-bess-evpn-ac-aware-bundling-03-genart-early-housley-2023-10-20-00
I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the IESG for the IETF Chair. Please wait for direction from your document shepherd or AD before posting a new version of the draft. For more information, please see the FAQ at <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>. Document: draft-ietf-bess-evpn-ac-aware-bundling-03 Reviewer: Russ Housley Review Date: 2023-10-20 IETF LC End Date: unknown IESG Telechat date: unknown Summary: Almost Ready Major Concerns: Section 8: Please clearly identify the IANA registry. Minor Concerns: General: Several places, the document includes reference of the form "[RFC7432] section x.y.z". It would be much more clear to use the form "Section x.y.z of [RFC7432]". Section 6.1 has "attachment circuit ID Extended Community" below the figure. Is this a caption? If so, please center the caption and add a figure number. Nits: General: s/draft/document/ (prepare for publication as an RFC) Abstract: s/EVPN (Ethernet VPNs) provides/An EVPN (Ethernet VPN) provides/ Section 1: s/This draft proposes/This document specifies/ Section 1.1: s/MAC-2 it can not determine which AC this MAC belongs to/ /MAC-2, it can not determine the AC associated with this MAC/ Section 1.2: s/which subnet this IGMP membership request belong to/ /which subnet this IGMP membership request belongs/ Section 1.2: s/forearded to/forwarded to/ Section 3: s/multiple VLAN are configured on/multiple VLAN are configured/ Section 3: s/defined in [RFC7432]/defined in [RFC7432]./ Section 4.1.1.2: s/non multihome/non-multihomed/ Section 4.1.1.2: s/defined in [RFC7432]/defined in [RFC7432]./ Section 4.2.1: s/section 13.1/Section 13.1./ Section 4.2.2: s/in [RFC7432]/in [RFC7432]./ Section 5: s/In this case/In this case,/ Section 6.2: s/is faily large/is fairly large/ Section 6.2: s/This approach is complexifying/This approach adds complexity to/ Section 6.2: s/There is drawback/There is a drawback/