Last Call Review of draft-ietf-conex-mobile-05
review-ietf-conex-mobile-05-opsdir-lc-wicinski-2015-10-09-00

All,

I have reviewed this document as part of the Operational directorate's
ongoing effort to review all IETF documents being processed by the
IESG. These comments were written with the intent of improving the
operational aspects of the  IETF drafts. Comments that are not
addressed in last call may be included in AD reviews during the IESG
review.  Document editors and WG chairs should treat these comments
just like any other last call comments.

Version Reviewed: draft-ietf-conex-mobile-05

Summary:  Ready with several nits

My review found several issues with the document references and discussions,


and several of them mirror those of the document shepherd.  I suggest 


the OPs



ADs heed the document shepherd words.

2.3.  Accounting for Congestion Volume

   3G and LTE networks provide extensive support for accounting and
   charging already, for example cf. the Policy Charging Control (PCC)
   architecture.

issue: There is no reference to the PCC architecture, even though its
referenced several times.

Section 2.4:

   [I-D.briscoe-conex-initial-deploy] provides specific examples of how
   ConEx deployments can be initiated, focusing on unilateral

typo: unilateral

3.1.  Possible Deployment Scenarios

   We present three different deployment scenarios for congestion
   exposure in the figures below:

issue: There are 4 items listed numerically below this statement.
Please adjust this.

issue: The drawings are not close to the deployment scenarios. I would


suggest doing the work to include each drawing with the appropriate 


scenario.




issue: Figures 1-4 refer to objects "UE", "eNB", "S-GW", and "P-GW". These
are not defined in the document anywhere.

6.  Security Considerations

   Security considerations for applying CONEX to EPS include, but are
   not limited to, the security considerations that apply to the CONEX
   protocols.

issue: There should be a reference to the draft that discusses the security
considerations that apply to the CONEX protocols

References:



I-D.briscoe-conex-initial-deploy - "work in progress" is stated, but 


draft is



expired.

I-D.briscoe-tsvwg-ecn-encap-guidelines - also expired

Appendix B:

    The EPS architecture and some of its standardized interfaces are
    depicted in Figure 1.

This should be Figure 5, which is also distant from the description. More
effort should be used to place descriptions and figures in close
proximity.