Last Call Review of draft-ietf-detnet-flow-information-model-10
review-ietf-detnet-flow-information-model-10-genart-lc-korhonen-2020-09-11-00

Request Review of draft-ietf-detnet-flow-information-model
Requested revision No specific revision (document currently at 14)
Type Last Call Review
Team General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) (genart)
Deadline 2020-09-11
Requested 2020-08-28
Authors Balazs Varga , János Farkas , Rodney Cummings , Yuanlong Jiang , Don Fedyk
I-D last updated 2020-09-11
Completed reviews Rtgdir Early review of -10 by Henning Rogge (diff)
Tsvart Last Call review of -11 by Olivier Bonaventure (diff)
Opsdir Last Call review of -10 by Nagendra Kumar Nainar (diff)
Secdir Last Call review of -10 by Shawn M Emery (diff)
Genart Last Call review of -10 by Jouni Korhonen (diff)
Assignment Reviewer Jouni Korhonen
State Completed
Request Last Call review on draft-ietf-detnet-flow-information-model by General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) Assigned
Posted at https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/gen-art/nivrl8Qt5lVukdqsMv_Q_eiXBrs
Reviewed revision 10 (document currently at 14)
Result Ready w/nits
Completed 2020-09-11
review-ietf-detnet-flow-information-model-10-genart-lc-korhonen-2020-09-11-00
I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
like any other last call comments.

For more information, please see the FAQ at

<https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Document: draft-ietf-detnet-flow-information-model-??
Reviewer: Jouni Korhonen
Review Date: 2020-09-11
IETF LC End Date: 2020-09-11
IESG Telechat date: Not scheduled for a telechat

Summary:
This informational document is ready for publication with some editorial nits.

Major issues:
None.

Minor issues:
None.

Nits/editorial comments:

1) Line 210:   remove the excess full stop after "Section 6"
2) Section 1.1 lines 221 to 226. I do not see a reason to the intro text here..
It will read odd after a while when things move on. I recommend leaving only
the following text with some rewording:
  "Therefore, the DetNet flow and service
    information models described in this document are based on
    [IEEE8021Qcc], which is an amendment to [IEEE8021Q].
    This document specifies flow and service information models only."
3) Line 853: YANG is referred without a reference. In general, the YANG model
gets mentioned for the first time in the summary as "These models are used as
input for the YANG model". That came a bit out of sudden here and a some more
context would be nice to have.