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Last Call Review of draft-ietf-hip-multihoming-09
review-ietf-hip-multihoming-09-genart-lc-shirazipour-2016-08-25-00

Request Review of draft-ietf-hip-multihoming
Requested revision No specific revision (document currently at 12)
Type Last Call Review
Team General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) (genart)
Deadline 2016-08-25
Requested 2016-08-12
Authors Thomas R. Henderson , Christian Vogt , Jari Arkko
I-D last updated 2016-08-25
Completed reviews Genart Last Call review of -09 by Meral Shirazipour (diff)
Genart Telechat review of -10 by Meral Shirazipour (diff)
Secdir Last Call review of -09 by Derek Atkins (diff)
Intdir Early review of -09 by Sheng Jiang (diff)
Opsdir Last Call review of -09 by Carlos Pignataro (diff)
Rtgdir Early review of -10 by Russ White (diff)
Assignment Reviewer Meral Shirazipour
State Completed
Request Last Call review on draft-ietf-hip-multihoming by General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) Assigned
Reviewed revision 09 (document currently at 12)
Result Ready w/nits
Completed 2016-08-25
review-ietf-hip-multihoming-09-genart-lc-shirazipour-2016-08-25-00

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area Review Team
(Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the IESG for the IETF
Chair.  Please treat these comments just like any other last call comments. For
 more information, please see the FAQ at
 <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq> .





Document: draft-ietf-hip-multihoming-10

Reviewer: Meral Shirazipour

Review Date: 2016-08-19

IETF LC End Date:  2016-08-25

IESG Telechat date: NA





Summary:

This draft is ready to be published as Standards Track RFC, but I have some
comments (nits).



Major issues:



Minor issues:



Nits/editorial comments:

-[Page 4], "ESP transform [RFC7402]"--typo?-->"ESP transport [RFC7402]"

-[Page 4], please spell out SPI at first use: "Security Parameter Index (SPI)"

-[Page 5], "elements of procedure,"--->"elements of the procedure."

-[Page 6], "in R1, I2, or R2 packets"..., suggestion to add ref. to  RFC7401
here.

-[Page 6], "(ESP SAs may have an anti-replay window sensitive to reordering)",
suggestion to add ref. to RFC4303 here.

-[Page 8], "ACTIVE statte"--typo-->"ACTIVE state"

-[Page 13], "that a host send"--->"that a host sends"

-[Page 16], ".  Mark all addresses....", not clear who marks? the host?. It
would be better to clarify the sentence.

-[Page 18], "capabilities for mobility also carry over to mobility", did we
mean to multihoming?

-[Page 18], "threats discussed in [RFC4218] involves"--no s-->"threats
discussed in [RFC4218] involve"







Best Regards,

Meral

---

Meral Shirazipour

Ericsson

Research

www.ericsson.com