Last Call Review of draft-ietf-hip-reload-instance-08
review-ietf-hip-reload-instance-08-genart-lc-holmberg-2013-09-26-00

Request Review of draft-ietf-hip-reload-instance
Requested revision No specific revision (document currently at 10)
Type Last Call Review
Team General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) (genart)
Deadline 2013-09-30
Requested 2013-09-19
Authors Ari Keränen , Gonzalo Camarillo , Jouni Maenpaa
I-D last updated 2013-09-26
Completed reviews Genart Last Call review of -08 by Christer Holmberg (diff)
Genart Telechat review of -09 by Christer Holmberg (diff)
Assignment Reviewer Christer Holmberg
State Completed
Request Last Call review on draft-ietf-hip-reload-instance by General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) Assigned
Reviewed revision 08 (document currently at 10)
Result Ready
Completed 2013-09-26
review-ietf-hip-reload-instance-08-genart-lc-holmberg-2013-09-26-00

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on Gen-ART,
please see the FAQ at <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>



Document:                         draft-ietf-hip-reload-instance-08



Reviewer:                           Christer Holmberg



Review Date:                     26 September 2013



IETF LC End Date:             30 September 2013



IETF Telechat Date:         N/A



Summary:  The document is well written, and ready for publication, with some
minor editorial nits that I ask the authors to consider fixing.



Major Issues: None



Minor Issues: None



Nits/editorial comments:





Abstract:

------------



Q_A_1:



I would suggest to modify “is the” to “specifies the”.





Section 1:

-------------



Q_1_1:



In the abstract the text says “Host Identity Protocol-Based Overlay Networking
Environment (HIP BONE)”, and in Section 1 the text says “HIP BONE (Host
Identify Protocol-Based Overlay Networking Environment)”.
 I suggest to be consistent.





Q_1_2:



Throughout the document, you talk about “RELOAD HIP BONE”. For that reason, I
suggest to expand:



“This document addresses all the previous items and provides additional details
needed to built RELOAD-based HIP BONEs.”



…to:



“This document addresses all the previous items and provides additional details
needed to built RELOAD-based HIP BONEs, referred to as RELOAD HIP BONEs.”







Section 3:

-------------



Q_3_1:



I suggest to modify:



“The peer protocol to be used is RELOAD, which is specified in
[I-D.ietf-p2psip-base].”



…to:



“The peer protocol to be used is RELOAD [I-D.ietf-p2psip-base].”







Q_3_2:



Please expand RELOAD on first occurrence (outside the abstract).





Section 4:

-------------



Q_4_1:



Please expand ORCHID on first occurrence.





Section 5:

-------------



Q_5_1:



I suggest to remove “defined in Section 6.5 of [I-D.ietf-p2psip-base]”, as you
already state this in Section 3.