Telechat Review of draft-ietf-i2nsf-nsf-monitoring-data-model-14
review-ietf-i2nsf-nsf-monitoring-data-model-14-intdir-telechat-eastlake-2022-02-07-00
review-ietf-i2nsf-nsf-monitoring-data-model-14-intdir-telechat-eastlake-2022-02-07-00
I am an assigned INT directorate reviewer for < *draft-ietf-i2nsf-nsf-monitoring-data-model-14*>. These comments were written primarily for the benefit of the Internet Area Directors. Document editors and shepherd(s) should treat these comments just like they would treat comments from any other IETF contributors and resolve them along with any other Last Call comments that have been received. For more details on the INT Directorate, see https://datatracker.ietf.org/group/intdir/about/ < https://datatracker.ietf.org/group/intdir/about/>. *Based on my review, if I was on the IESG I would ballot this document as DISCUSS due to one item.* *I have the following DISCUSS issue:* It looks to me like Section 6.2.2 is just about notification of configuration change but some of the subpoints under seem to be about errors and/or seem to have been copied from 6.2.1 without change when they should have been edited. *The following are other issues I found with this document that SHOULD be corrected before publication:* Section 4, first sentence: I don't think "consuming" is the right word. Perhaps "checking". Section 4, 2nd paragraph: So, three domains of monitoring data are "highlighted", which sounds like incomplete coverage. But in other places, the word "comprehensive" is used. Does this document encompass all monitoring data and if not can you describe the subset covered in some more specific way than saying it is the "basic" data? This document should be clear which it is. Sections 6.3.1 through 6.3.5 discuss a number of types of events. Are those the only events that can be reported? Does the document indicate whether the list of event types is complete or not? To a lesser extent this comment may apply to other 6.*.* sections. *The following are minor issues with the document:* Section 4.2, Should "*the information of sessions and** traffic flows" be* "information about sessions and traffic flows" ? Section 4.3. Since they are called simply "push" and "pull" elsewhere in the draft, why are these longer and more confusing "unsolicited poll" and "solicited pull" used here? Section 6: Uses of "unsolicited information" should probably be replaced by wording using "push". Sections 6.3.2, 6.3.3, 6.3.4, 6.3.5 all talk about reporting geographic location. Who figures out what that information is? How accurate does it need to be? Numerous minor grammer things as marked on the attached document. Thanks, Donald =============================== Donald E. Eastlake 3rd +1-508-333-2270 (cell) 2386 Panoramic Circle, Apopka, FL 32703 USA d3e3e3@gmail.com