Early Review of draft-ietf-lpwan-overview-08

Request Review of draft-ietf-lpwan-overview
Requested rev. no specific revision (document currently at 10)
Type Early Review
Team Internet of Things Directorate (iotdir)
Deadline 2017-12-01
Requested 2017-11-11
Requested by Suresh Krishnan
Authors Stephen Farrell
Draft last updated 2018-02-05
Completed reviews Intdir Early review of -07 by Bob Halley (diff)
Iotdir Early review of -08 by Samita Chakrabarti (diff)
Secdir Last Call review of -07 by Paul Wouters (diff)
Rtgdir Telechat review of -07 by Andy Malis (diff)
Assignment Reviewer Samita Chakrabarti 
State Completed
Review review-ietf-lpwan-overview-08-iotdir-early-chakrabarti-2018-02-05
Reviewed rev. 08 (document currently at 10)
Review result Almost Ready
Review completed: 2018-02-05


Hi Stephen,
First of all, thank you for writing up the comprehensive overview of LPWAN technologies and their characteristics. I have read the document and the following are my comments for IOT-DIR review.

General : Please fix the formatting and paging of the document. Some of the figures are split between pages. The document uses loads of acronyms from multiple technologies. A glossary of terms are useful for reference in the beginning of the decument.
Section 2:  :”Note that some…. Of this document” – please make sure that only RFC and WG approved documents are referenced in the reference section and remove any reference that are still individual document at the time of publication/IESG review.

Section 2.4 – Please move the acknowledgement texts to the ACKNOWLEDGEMENT section at the end of the draft
Section 2.1.2 – Table 1 records data rate for LORA .3 – 5Kbps. For 868MHZ band; Later Table 2 records 50,000 kbps data rate for the same band.  Is this a typo ? If not please provide explanation
Table 4 and page 9 talks about DEVEUI – how are they obtained/configured/assigned on the end-device?
I suggest adding definition of terms for each technology at the beginning of the document for easy reference.
Page 12 calls out PSM, eDRX etc. – please add their definition in the definition of terms
Fig 3: labels eNB but the document talks about eNodeB. Please make them consistent

Page 14 – describes control function and RRC function. Please provide the RRC description/definition when RRC is first referenced in page 12. [ move this description to earlier sections ] Also notr that section 2.2.2 is extremely long; I would suggest breaking the section into different subsections such as “network components”, “Network Architecture”, “Control plane” etc.
Remove section 3 and combine the content of section 3 with section 2.1.2. They seem to have duplicate information. Fig 8 may be moved in section 2.1.2  as well. Combine fig 9 with fig 1.

Pg 26 – refers to I.D-hong-6lo-use-cases – but I did not find it in the reference section. Please fix.
What is “Very low layer tow payload…. “ – please fix
Note ID-hong-6lo-use-case document not only support 6lowpan, but it supports 6lo use-cases as well.
Section 4.2,2 – The statement  Header compression and privacy address IID is not quite true. There is guideline for supporting privacy in 6lo. Please refer to RFC 8065.
Section 4.3 -implies that 6lowpan and 6lo support star topologies only. That is NOT true. Both 6lowpan and 6lo can support both star and mesh topologies. Besides 6lo supports many different constrained networks including NFC and PLC. Please fix the section 4.3 .