Last Call Review of draft-ietf-madinas-use-cases-13
review-ietf-madinas-use-cases-13-artart-lc-tiloca-2024-11-22-00

Hi,

I am the assigned ART-ART reviewer for this draft.

Summary: Ready with Nits.

Please see my comments below. I hope it helps!

Best,
/Marco

[Section 1]

* "Finally, Appendix A includes some solutions that are being worked on."

  At least in this section, it sounds better to use "RCM schemes" instead of
  "solutions".

  (instead, later on in Section 6.2, there is more context for using
  "solutions")

[Section 2]

* s/a local or administrator/a universal or local administrator

[Section 3]

* It says:

  "network functional entities (entities, like applications or devices, that
  provide a service related to network operations)."

  Suggested rephrasing:

  "network functional entities such as applications or devices that provide a
  service related to network operations."

[Section 5]

* It says:

  "considering the BYOD nature of the device"

  Isn't that the nature of the environment, or the policy of the considered
  enterprises? If so, it can simply be:

  "Others, consistent with the BYOD model, will allow ..."

[Section 6.1]

* It says:

  "would cause the access point and the controller to lose these parameters"

  I think you mean:

  "would cause the access point and the controller to lose the relation between
  a connection context and the corresponding device"

* It says:

  "The MAC address is used to verify that the device is in the authorized list,
  and the associated key used to decrypt the device traffic."

  I think you mean:

  "... and to retrieve the associated key used to decrypt the device traffic."

[Section 9]

* The first reference has an incomplete format. Please fix it so that it shows
all the expected information for
https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-tomas-openroaming/

[Nits]

* Title
  - s/Impacts and Use/Impacts, and Use

* Section 1
  - s/laptops, tablets and/laptops, tablets, and

* Section 2
  - s/smart thermostat/smart thermostats
  - s/didn't/did not
  - s/which functions/whose functions
  - s/functions or its/functions, or its
  - s/associated to/associated with  (2 instances)

* Section 2.1
  - s/associated to/associated with  (2 instances)
  - s/Authorization and Accounting/Authorization, and Accounting

* Section 3
  - s/associated to/associated with

* Section 3.1
  - s/associated to/associated with
  - s/MAC-to- device/MAC-to-device

* Section 3.2
  - s/participate to the/participate in the
  - s/address to a physical/address with a physical
  - s/and it associated/and its associated
  - s/are only provided devices/are only provided with devices
  - s/associated to/associated with
  - s/send, receive and monitor/send, receive, and monitor

* Section 5
  - s/associated to/associated with
  - s/full trust, others/full trust. Others
  - s/managed, for example through/managed, for example, through

* Section 6
  - s/from AAA, to Quality/from AAA to Quality

* Section 6.1
  - s/encryption key material/encryption keying material
  - s/device which port/device whose port
  - s/change their MAC to a new randomized value/change their MAC to a new
  randomized one - s/by a AAA/by an AAA - s/functions which purpose/functions
  whose purpose - s/and, Neighbor Advertisement/and Neighbor Advertisement -
  s/in section Section 5/in Section 5 - s/associated to/associated with

* Section 6.2
  - s/operators.Table 1/operators. Table 1
  - s/services and network support/services, and network support

* Appendix A.1
  - s/, that would be recognized/, which would be recognized

* Appendix A.2

  - s/allows the establishment/allows for the establishment