Last Call Review of draft-ietf-manet-rfc6779bis-05
review-ietf-manet-rfc6779bis-05-genart-lc-davies-2016-05-06-00
| Request | Review of | draft-ietf-manet-rfc6779bis |
|---|---|---|
| Requested revision | No specific revision (document currently at 07) | |
| Type | Last Call Review | |
| Team | General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) (genart) | |
| Deadline | 2016-05-16 | |
| Requested | 2016-05-06 | |
| Authors | Ulrich Herberg , Robert Cole , Ian Chakeres , Thomas H. Clausen | |
| Draft last updated | 2016-05-06 | |
| Completed reviews |
Genart Last Call review of -05
by
Elwyn B. Davies
(diff)
Genart Last Call review of -05 by Elwyn B. Davies (diff) Secdir Last Call review of -05 by Vincent Roca (diff) |
|
| Assignment | Reviewer | Elwyn B. Davies |
| State | Completed | |
| Review |
review-ietf-manet-rfc6779bis-05-genart-lc-davies-2016-05-06
|
|
| Reviewed revision | 05 (document currently at 07) | |
| Result | Ready with Nits | |
| Completed | 2016-05-06 |
review-ietf-manet-rfc6779bis-05-genart-lc-davies-2016-05-06-00
I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The
General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents
being processed by the IESG for the IETF Chair. Please treat these
comments just like any other last call comments. For more
information, please see the FAQ at <
http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.
Document: draft-ietf-manet-rfc6779bis-05.txt
Reviewer: Elwyn Davies
Review Date: 2016/05/06
IETF LC End Date: 2016/05/16
IESG Telechat date: (if known) -
Summary: Ready with a couple of editorial nits.
Major issues: None
Minor issues: None
Nits/editorial comments:
The suggestions for the Abstract, s1 and s1.1 are
intended to clarify the relationship to RFC 7466 in the
introductory text (the later comments in the MIB itself are more
than adequately clear about this!)
Abstract:
OLD:
In particular, it
describes objects for configuring parameters of the
Neighborhood
Discovery Protocol (NHDP) process on a router.
NEW:
In particular, it
describes objects for configuring parameters of the
Neighborhood
Discovery Protocol (NHDP) process on a router. The extensions
described in this document adds objects and values to support
the
NHDP optimisation described in RFC 7466.
END
s1:
OLD:
In particular, it describes objects for configuring
parameters of the Mobile Ad Hoc Network (MANET) Neighborhood
Discovery Protocol (NHDP) [RFC6130] process on a router.
NEW:
In particular, it describes objects for configuring
parameters of the Mobile Ad Hoc Network (MANET) Neighborhood
Discovery Protocol (NHDP) [RFC6130] process on a router. The
extensions
described in this document adds objects and values to support
the
NHDP optimisation described in [RFC7466].
END
s1.1:
It might be worth adding a list of the changes since it is short
and they are a bit buried:
I think they are:
- Addition of objects nhdpIib2HopSetN2Lost and
nhdpIfPerfCounterDiscontinuityTime.
- Addition of extra value (notConsidered) to
nhdp2HopNbrState.
- Revised full compliance state.
s4: We don't normally leave IPR statements in
finished documents - Probably best to leave a RFC Editor
instruction to delete the section before publication.
s7.3, para 2: The referent of 'this table' is not
totally clear:
s/this table/the
nhdpInterfaceTable/
s8, top of page 13 - DESCRIPTION
below CONTACT INFO, last para:
OLD:
This version of this MIB module is part of RFC 6779;
see
the RFC itself for full legal notices."
NEW:
This version of this MIB module is part of RFC xxxx;
see
the RFC itself for full legal notices."
s10, para 1: There are weasel
words here:
A fuller discussion of MANET network
management use cases and challenges will be provided elsewhere.
Has this now happened? If so a reference would be desirable.
Otherwise maybe
A full discussion of MANET network
management use cases and challenges is beyond the scope of this
document..