Last Call Review of draft-ietf-manet-rfc6779bis-05
review-ietf-manet-rfc6779bis-05-genart-lc-davies-2016-05-06-00

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Document: draft-ietf-manet-rfc6779bis-05.txt


      Reviewer: Elwyn Davies


      Review Date: 2016/05/06


      IETF LC End Date: 2016/05/16


      IESG Telechat date: (if known) -







Summary: Ready with a couple of editorial nits.







Major issues: None




Minor issues: None




Nits/editorial comments:




The suggestions for the Abstract, s1 and s1.1 are
      intended to clarify the relationship to RFC 7466 in the
      introductory text (the later comments in the MIB itself are more
      than adequately clear about this!)


      Abstract:


      OLD:


         In particular, it


         describes objects for configuring parameters of the
      Neighborhood


         Discovery Protocol (NHDP) process on a router.


      NEW:


         In particular, it


         describes objects for configuring parameters of the
      Neighborhood


         Discovery Protocol (NHDP) process on a router.  The extensions
      


         described in this document adds objects and values to support
      the 


         NHDP optimisation described in RFC 7466.


      END







s1: 


      OLD:


         In particular, it describes objects for configuring


         parameters of the Mobile Ad Hoc Network (MANET) Neighborhood


         Discovery Protocol (NHDP) [RFC6130] process on a router.


      NEW:


         In particular, it describes objects for configuring


         parameters of the Mobile Ad Hoc Network (MANET) Neighborhood


         Discovery Protocol (NHDP) [RFC6130] process on a router.  The
      extensions 


         described in this document adds objects and values to support
      the 


         NHDP optimisation described in [RFC7466].


      END


      s1.1:


        It might be worth adding a list of the changes since it is short
        and they are a bit buried:


        I think they are:


         - Addition of objects nhdpIib2HopSetN2Lost and 

nhdpIfPerfCounterDiscontinuityTime.


         - Addition of extra value (notConsidered) to 

nhdp2HopNbrState.


       - Revised full compliance state.







s4:  We don't normally leave IPR statements in
      finished documents - Probably best to leave a RFC Editor
      instruction to delete the section before publication.







s7.3, para 2: The referent of 'this table' is not
      totally clear:


      s/this table/the 

nhdpInterfaceTable/







s8, top of page 13 - DESCRIPTION
        below CONTACT INFO, last para:


        OLD:


                    This version of this MIB module is part of RFC 6779;
        see


                    the RFC itself for full legal notices."


        NEW:


                    This version of this MIB module is part of RFC xxxx;
        see


                    the RFC itself for full legal notices."







s10, para 1:  There are weasel
        words here:







A fuller discussion of MANET network
   management use cases and challenges will be provided elsewhere.





    Has this now happened?  If so a reference would be desirable. 
    Otherwise maybe


       A full discussion of MANET network


       management use cases and challenges is beyond the scope of this
    document..