Last Call Review of draft-ietf-mpls-multipath-use-03
review-ietf-mpls-multipath-use-03-genart-lc-yee-2014-01-18-00

Request Review of draft-ietf-mpls-multipath-use
Requested rev. no specific revision (document currently at 04)
Type Last Call Review
Team General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) (genart)
Deadline 2014-01-17
Requested 2014-01-02
Other Reviews Opsdir Last Call review of -03 by David Black (diff)
Review State Completed
Reviewer Peter Yee
Review review-ietf-mpls-multipath-use-03-genart-lc-yee-2014-01-18
Posted at http://www.ietf.org/mail-archive/web/gen-art/current/msg09585.html
Reviewed rev. 03 (document currently at 04)
Review result Ready with Nits
Draft last updated 2014-01-18
Review completed: 2014-01-18

Review
review-ietf-mpls-multipath-use-03-genart-lc-yee-2014-01-18

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
<

http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments you
may receive.

Document: draft-ietf-mpls-multipath-use-03
Reviewer: Peter Yee
Review Date: January-16-2014
IETF LC End Date: January-17-2014
IESG Telechat date: January-23-2014

Summary: This draft is basically ready for publication as an Informational
RFC, but has nits that should be fixed before publication. [Ready with
nits.]

This document discusses multipath MPLS operations and describes the means of
supporting MPLS as a server layer for MPLS-TP and vice versa.  It lists
requirements and implications for these operations.


Nits:

General nits:

Make all references to the expansion of ECMP read "Equal-Cost Multipath" for
consistency with RFC 2991.

In the usage RFCxxxx, use a space between RFC and xxxx except when used as a
reference, e.g., [RFCxxxx].

There are many unexplained acronyms without definition or reference.  Unless
these are abundantly clear to most readers, expand them on first usage and
provide a reference pointer where feasible.

Specific nits:

Page 1, Abstract, 2nd paragraph, 1st sentence: change "MPLS Entropy label"
to "the MPLS Entropy Label".

Page 2, Section 1, 1st paragraph,  1st sentence: delete the comma after
"traffic".

Page 2, Section 1, 1st paragraph, last sentence: change "load split" to
"load splitting".

Page 2, Section 1, 2nd paragraph, last sentence: hyphenate "fate sharing".

Page 3, Section 1, 1st paragraph, 1st sentence: hyphenate "equal cost".

Page 3, definition of "Loop Free Alternate Paths (LFA)": hyphenate "Loop
Free".

Page 3, definition of "Loop Free Alternate Paths (LFA), 1st sentence: change
the terminating period to a colon.

Page 4, Section 3.1, 1st paragraph, 1st sentence: change "date" to "data".

Page 4, Section 3.1, 1st paragraph, 2nd sentence: change the terminating
period to a colon.

Page 5, 1st full paragraph, 1st sentence: insert "Section 3.1.1" between
"[RFC5960]" and "paragraph 3".  Capitalize "paragraph".

Page 5, 1st full paragraph, 3rd sentence: same as previous instructions.

Page 5, 2nd paragraph, 2nd sentence: change ' "Section 1 Introduction"' to '
Section 1 ("Introduction")'.

Page 6, 1st paragraph, 3rd sentence: change ' "Section 2.9.4 Equal Cost
Multipath") to ' Section 2.9.4 ("Equal Cost Multipath")'.

Page 6, Section 3.2, 1st paragraph, 1st sentence: hyphenate "MPLS-TP
conformant" and delete the comma after "multipath".

Page 7, 2nd paragraph, 2nd sentence: change "A" to "An".

Page 7, 2nd paragraph, 5th and 6th sentences: change all occurrences of
"LSP" to "LSPs".

Page 7, 3rd paragraph, 2nd sentence: change "LSP" to "LSPs".

Page 7, 4th paragraph, 2nd sentence: change "LSR" to "LSRs".

Page 7, 5th paragraph: change all occurrences of "LSP" to "LSPs".

Page 7, 5th paragraph last sentence: change "co-existance" to "coexistence".

Page 8, 1st partial paragraph, 2nd full sentence: change all occurrences of
"LSP" to "LPSs" and change "LSR" to "LSRs".

Page 8, 2nd full paragraph: change all occurrences of "LSP" to "LSPs".

Page 8, 4th paragraph, 1st sentence: change "LSP" to "LSPs".

Page 8, 4th paragraph, 2nd sentence: is there a quantitative definition for
"very infrequent" that can be substituted or explained?

Page 8, 4th paragraph, 3rd sentence: change "presense" to "presence".
Insert "a" before "GAL".

Page 9, 1st partial paragraph: delete "label" following "EL" in two
locations.

Page 9, Section 4, 1st paragraph, 1st sentence: change first "LSP" to
"LSPs".  Change "a MPLS-TP" to "an MPLS-TP" unless MPLS is pronounced liked
"mipples" or something similar and not just spelled out.

Page 9, Section 4, 2nd paragraph: replace all occurrences of "LSP" with
"LSPs".

Page 9, Section 4, 2nd paragraph, 2nd sentence: insert "the" between "in"
and "number".

Page 9, Section 4, 2nd paragraph, 3rd sentence: change "ILM" to "ILMs".

Page 9, Section 4, 3rd paragraph, 1st sentence: change "Server Layer" to
"server layer" for consistency of usage.  Insert "of" between "use" and
"MPLS-TP".  Change "LSP" to "LSPs".

Page 9, Section 4, 3rd paragraph, 4th sentence: change "LSP" to "LSPs".

Page 9, Section 4, 3rd paragraph, 5th sentence: change "LSP" to "LSPs".
Change "capacity" to "capacities".  Insert "generally" before "not integer"
unless it is always the case that the capacity is not a multiple of 10 Gb/s.

Page 9, Section 4, 4th paragraph, 1st sentence: change "Server Layer" to
"server layer".

Page 10, Section 6, 2nd paragraph, 2nd sentence: hyphenate "high end" and
append a comma after that.  Hyphenate "packet processing".

Page 10, Section 6, 3rd paragraph, last sentence: same as previous
instructions.

Page 10, Section 8, 1st sentence: insert "a" between "of" and "framework".


I'm not particularly knowledgeable about MPLS, so I'm unable to express much
about the correctness of the operational points made in the document.

		-Peter Yee