Last Call Review of draft-ietf-mptcp-multiaddressed-
review-ietf-mptcp-multiaddressed-genart-lc-dupont-2012-08-15-00

Request Review of draft-ietf-mptcp-multiaddressed
Requested revision No specific revision (document currently at 12)
Type Last Call Review
Team General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) (genart)
Deadline 2012-08-15
Requested 2012-08-03
Authors Alan Ford , Costin Raiciu , Mark J. Handley , Olivier Bonaventure
I-D last updated 2012-08-15
Completed reviews Genart Last Call review of -?? by Francis Dupont
Genart Telechat review of -?? by Francis Dupont
Secdir Last Call review of -?? by Alexey Melnikov
Assignment Reviewer Francis Dupont
State Completed
Request Last Call review on draft-ietf-mptcp-multiaddressed by General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) Assigned
Result Ready
Completed 2012-08-15
review-ietf-mptcp-multiaddressed-genart-lc-dupont-2012-08-15-00
I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at

<

http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq> .

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
you may receive.

Document: draft-ietf-mptcp-multiaddressed-09.txt
Reviewer: Francis Dupont
Review Date: 20120828
IETF LC End Date: 20120815
IESG Telechat date: 20120830

Summary: Ready

Major issues: None

Minor issues: None

Nits/editorial comments:
 - the topic is not very well introduced but it is a member (and not
   the first one) of a group of documents so IMHO this can be really
   assessed only by reading all documents (in order)...

 - the language is English, not US English (I leave this to the RFC Editor,
  it just made my speller (configured for the US English) a bit fussy.

 - Abstract page 1 and many other places: i.e. -> i.e., (and e.g. -> e.g.,)

 - ToC pages 2 and 3, section 7 page 51:
  Acknowledgements -> Acknowledgments
  
 - 2.3 page 10: implictly -> implicitly

 - 2.4 pages 10 (3) and 11 (2): acknowledgements -> acknowledgments

 - same 3 page 13 and 3.3.2 page 26

 - 3.2 page 19: in
  "Doing the MAC exchange at this stage allow" allow -> allows?

 - 3.2 page 21: Deumultiplexing -> Demultiplexing

 - 3.3.1 page 24: neogiated -> negotiated ?

 - 3.3.2 page 27: restransmited -> restransmitted

 - 3.3.3 page 28: permissable -> permissible && oustanding -> outstanding

 - 3.3.4 page 29 and 3.4 page 34: succesfully -> successfully

 - 6 page 48: illustred -> illustrated

 - 6 page 48 figure 16: get the whole figure on the same page
  (more a warning for the RFC Editor BTW :-)

 - 8 pages 51 and 52: by [21]) Assignments _> by [21]). Assignments ??

 - A page 55: accomodate -> accommodate

 - English vs US English from my speller (other than acknowledgement):
  behaviour utilisation signalled labelled optimisations maximise whilst
  learnt minimise specialised emphasised analyse

Thanks

Francis.Dupont at fdupont.fr