Last Call Review of draft-ietf-p2psip-sip-17
review-ietf-p2psip-sip-17-genart-lc-shirazipour-2016-04-07-00
| Request | Review of | draft-ietf-p2psip-sip |
|---|---|---|
| Requested revision | No specific revision (document currently at 21) | |
| Type | Last Call Review | |
| Team | General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) (genart) | |
| Deadline | 2016-04-06 | |
| Requested | 2016-03-24 | |
| Authors | Cullen Fluffy Jennings , Bruce Lowekamp , Eric Rescorla , Salman Baset , Henning Schulzrinne , Thomas C. Schmidt | |
| I-D last updated | 2016-04-07 | |
| Completed reviews |
Genart Last Call review of -17
by Meral Shirazipour
(diff)
Genart Telechat review of -18 by Meral Shirazipour (diff) Opsdir Telechat review of -18 by Will (Shucheng) LIU (diff) |
|
| Assignment | Reviewer | Meral Shirazipour |
| State | Completed | |
| Request | Last Call review on draft-ietf-p2psip-sip by General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) Assigned | |
| Reviewed revision | 17 (document currently at 21) | |
| Result | Ready w/nits | |
| Completed | 2016-04-07 |
review-ietf-p2psip-sip-17-genart-lc-shirazipour-2016-04-07-00
I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the IESG for the IETF Chair. Please treat these comments just like any other last call comments. For more information, please see the FAQ at <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>. Document: draft-ietf-p2psip-sip-17 Reviewer: Meral Shirazipour Review Date: 2016-04-06 IETF LC End Date: 2016-04-06 IESG Telechat date: 2016-04-21 Summary: This draft is ready to be published as Standards Track RFC but I have some comments. Major issues: Minor issues: Nits/editorial comments: -[Page 1] Abstract: some suggestions for clarity: -After "(RELOAD)" it would be clearer to add [rfc6940]. -"Uris"---->"URIs" -"the AppAttach method"---->"the RELOAD AppAttach method" I find the first paragraph of the Introduction more suitable for abstract text. The abstract should clarify which protocols are being extended here SIP, RELOAD, both. -[Page 4], "ICE" to be spelled out at first use. -[Page 7], "PDU" to be spelled out at first use. -[Page 12], "either SIP scheme"--->"either SIP schemes" -[Page 13], "Uris"---->"URIs" -[Page 13], "gr URI"--->" "gr" URI " -[Page 18], ietf-p2psip-share ref to be updated to latest Best Regards, Meral --- Meral Shirazipour Ericsson Research www.ericsson.com