Last Call Review of draft-ietf-privacypass-protocol-12
review-ietf-privacypass-protocol-12-artart-lc-yoneya-2023-08-29-00

Request Review of draft-ietf-privacypass-protocol
Requested revision No specific revision (document currently at 16)
Type IETF Last Call Review
Team ART Area Review Team (artart)
Deadline 2023-08-31
Requested 2023-08-17
Authors Sofia Celi , Alex Davidson , Steven Valdez , Christopher A. Wood
I-D last updated 2024-06-13 (Latest revision 2023-10-03)
Completed reviews Artart IETF Last Call review of -12 by Yoshiro Yoneya (diff)
Secdir IETF Last Call review of -12 by Alexey Melnikov (diff)
Opsdir IETF Last Call review of -12 by Susan Hares (diff)
Httpdir IETF Last Call review of -12 by Mark Nottingham (diff)
Assignment Reviewer Yoshiro Yoneya
State Completed
Request IETF Last Call review on draft-ietf-privacypass-protocol by ART Area Review Team Assigned
Posted at https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/art/jNWWVjSN2UrAHlhxp6LBwfgX9SU
Reviewed revision 12 (document currently at 16)
Result Ready w/nits
Completed 2023-08-29
review-ietf-privacypass-protocol-12-artart-lc-yoneya-2023-08-29-00
Reviewer: Yoshiro Yoneya
Review result: Ready with Nits

  I am assigned ARTART reviewer for this draft.

Summary:

  This draft is in good shape and almost ready for publication.  I found a few
  nits better to be considered.

Major issues:

  None.

Minor issues:

  None.

Nits:

  ==
  In Section "4. Configuration":

  CURRENT
  1.  Issuer Request URL: A token request URL for generating access
       tokens.  For example, an Issuer URL might be
       https://issuer.example.net/request.

  SUGGESTION
  1.  Issuer Request URI: A token request URI for generating access
       tokens.  For example, an Issuer URI might be
       https://issuer.example.net/request.

  This is because URI is normative term for URL in IETF.
  I found the term "URL" in this document at several places and they could be
  replaced by "URI" as well.

  ==
  In Section "5.1. Client-to-Issuer Request":

  CURRENT
  *  "token_type" is a 2-octet integer, which matches the type in the
      challenge.

  SUGGESTION
  *  "token_type" is a 2-byte integer, which matches the type in the
      challenge.

  There seems no reason to use the term "octet" in this document. By definition
  of the data structure, byte == 8bit (uint8_t) is obvious. I found the term
  "octet" in this document at several places and they could be replaced by
  "byte" as well.