Last Call Review of draft-ietf-pwe3-pw-typed-wc-fec-
review-ietf-pwe3-pw-typed-wc-fec-genart-lc-barnes-2012-03-21-00

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on

Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at

<

http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Please wait for direction from your document shepherd

or AD before posting a new version of the draft.

Document: draft-ietf-pwe3-pw-typed-wc-fec-03.txt

Reviewer:  Mary Barnes

Review Date:  9 April 2012

IESG Telechat Date: 12 April 2012

Summary:  Ready with nits.

Comments: there are some editorial nits, many summarized below.  There are
several cases where an article - i.e., "the", "an", etc. is missing.   I
believe these can be fixed in AUTH48 and I imagine the RFC editor will catch
them. But, if the doc needs any other updates, it would be good to make these
fixes at the same time.

Nits:

-----

Section 1:

- first paragraph, second sentence is very awkward and could be rewritten
something like (unless I've misunderstood the objective of that sentence:

OLD:

   This can be used when it is

   desired to request all label bindings for a given type of FEC

   Element, or to release or withdraw all label bindings for a given

   type of FEC element.

NEW:

   This can be used to request, release or withdraw all label

   bindings for a given type of FEC element.

- second paragraph, last sentence - missing articles (PWID, same)

OLD:

   The procedures for Typed Wildcard processing for PWid and

   Generalized PWid FEC Elements are same as described in [RFC5918] for

   any typed wildcard FEC Element type.

NEW:

   The procedures for Typed Wildcard processing for the PWid and

   Generalized PWid FEC Elements are the same as described in [RFC5918] for

   any typed wildcard FEC Element type.

Section 3:

- third paragraph, last sentence before list:

OLD:

 provide

  more generalized and comprehensive solution by allowing:

NEW:

  provide a

  more generalized and comprehensive solution by allowing:

- list item 2: "constraint" -> "constrain"

Section 4.1:

OLD:

 "… had learnt from LSR B over LDP session."

NEW:

 " … learned from the LSR B over the LDP session."

OLD:

 "…such request…"

NEW:

 "…such a request…"  OR "..the request…"

OLD:

 (no stale)

NEW:

 (not stale)

OLD:

  completes consistency check

NEW:

  completes the consistency check

Section 4.3:

- first paragraph, last sentence:

OLD:

  with large number

NEW:

  with a large number

Section 4.4:

- 1st para, 2nd sentence:

OLD:

   These procedures use LDP Address Withdraw message

NEW:

   These procedures use an LDP Address Withdraw message

- 2nd paragraph, last sentence:

OLD:

  This per PW (VPLS instance) MAC Withdraw messages

NEW:

  These per PW (VPLS instance) MAC Withdraw messages

3rd paragraph - 1st sentence:

OLD:

  this document allows use of

NEW:

  this document allows the use of