Early Review of draft-ietf-rats-network-device-subscription-02
review-ietf-rats-network-device-subscription-02-yangdoctors-early-schoenwaelder-2022-10-27-00

* Abstract

  s/other Conceptual Message/other Conceptual Messages/

* Introduction

  s/there are can be additional/there can be additional/

  For my taste, this is a somewhat difficult to understand
  introduction, as the text immediately gets lost in details.

* Sequence Diagram

  What does "Figure 1 below is a sequence diagram which updates Figure
  5" mean? Is this a formal update of the figure? Also "This sequence
  diagram replaces the [..]" makes me wonder. Perhaps you mean extend
  or adapt?

  I have not tried to understand all the RATS details.

* Configuring the <attestation> Event Stream

  s/current configuration of stream/current configuration of a stream/

* YANG Module

  Did the module not change since 2021-05-11? Otherwise, update the
  timestamp.

  Update the copyright year to 2022.

  There is no reference for ietf-tcg-algs, did not know where to find
  it. I figured out by searching that it is also in
  draft-ietf-rats-yang-tpm-charra.

  What are "conceptual YANG specifications"??

     identity pcr-unsubscribable {
       base sn:establish-subscription-error;
       description
         "Requested PCR is subscribable by the Attester.";
     }

  So is it subscribable or unsubscribable?

  Add a units statement to tpm20-subscription-heartbeat.

  I did not spot any YANG specific issues, whether the definitions
  make sense from the RATS perspective, I can't judge. This requires
  reviews by people who understand RATS technology.

  Security considerations are missing.

  IANA considerations are missing.

  I did not compile the YANG module since getting all YANG modules it
  depends on and their dependents into place is, well, non-trivial, in
  particular with intermitted Internet access.