Last Call Review of draft-ietf-sidrops-bgpsec-rollover-02
review-ietf-sidrops-bgpsec-rollover-02-genart-lc-dupont-2017-10-09-00

Request Review of draft-ietf-sidrops-bgpsec-rollover
Requested rev. no specific revision (document currently at 03)
Type Last Call Review
Team General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) (genart)
Deadline 2017-10-17
Requested 2017-10-03
Other Reviews Rtgdir Last Call review of -02 by Daniele Ceccarelli (diff)
Review State Completed
Reviewer Francis Dupont
Review review-ietf-sidrops-bgpsec-rollover-02-genart-lc-dupont-2017-10-09
Posted at https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/gen-art/711NXLg4lEpaioXBKt9kBTfuacQ
Reviewed rev. 02 (document currently at 03)
Review result Ready
Draft last updated 2017-10-09
Review closed: 2017-10-09

Review
review-ietf-sidrops-bgpsec-rollover-02-genart-lc-dupont-2017-10-09

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
like any other last call comments.

For more information, please see the FAQ at

<https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Document: draft-ietf-sidrops-bgpsec-rollover-02.txt
Reviewer: Francis Dupont
Review Date: 20171007
IETF LC End Date: 20171017
IESG Telechat date: unknown

Summary: Ready

Major issues: None

Minor issues: None

Nits/editorial comments: 
 IMHO the language itself needs some improvements. Unfortunately I am not
 a native English writer so I can only be a limited help...

 - Abstract page 1: bad wording in
  "... certificates BGPsec router certificates"

 - Abstract page 1: Normal -> normal

 - Abstract page 1: "creating" does not fit in grammar. Perhaps
  "which create"?

 - Abstract page 1: I suggest accomplished -> performed
  (this point is typical of why a native English writer will really help)

 - ToC page 2 and 4/4.2 page 7: titles of 4 and 4.2 are too close

 - ToC page 2 and 7 page 9: Acknowledgements -> Acknowledgments

 - 2 page 2: I suggest
  the local policies of a network. -> the local policies of network.

 - 2 page 3: as the 2119 lowe case keyword issue is now solved you may
  use "may" as in "documents may reference" but perhaps with an upgrade
  to the standard 2119 reference text. I am asking to the gen-art what
  to do (and I expect to get an answer before the LC).

 - 2 page 3, 3.1 and 4 page 6:
   roll-over -> rollover (i.e. keep one spelling)

 - 4.2 page 7: i.e. -> i.e.,

Regards

Francis.Dupont@fdupont.fr