Last Call Review of draft-ietf-teas-applicability-actn-slicing-07
review-ietf-teas-applicability-actn-slicing-07-genart-lc-yee-2024-08-09-00

Request Review of draft-ietf-teas-applicability-actn-slicing
Requested revision No specific revision (document currently at 10)
Type IETF Last Call Review
Team General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) (genart)
Deadline 2024-08-08
Requested 2024-07-25
Authors Daniel King , John Drake , Haomian Zheng , Adrian Farrel
I-D last updated 2026-05-20 (Latest revision 2024-08-28)
Completed reviews Rtgdir Early review of -06 by Tony Przygienda (diff)
Rtgdir IETF Last Call review of -07 by Alvaro Retana (diff)
Secdir IETF Last Call review of -07 by Linda Dunbar (diff)
Opsdir IETF Last Call review of -07 by Joe Clarke (diff)
Genart IETF Last Call review of -07 by Peter E. Yee (diff)
Assignment Reviewer Peter E. Yee
State Completed
Request IETF Last Call review on draft-ietf-teas-applicability-actn-slicing by General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) Assigned
Posted at https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/gen-art/np-BL5awqfmZ7cGMyACFnfZLRPo
Reviewed revision 07 (document currently at 10)
Result Ready w/nits
Completed 2024-08-09
review-ietf-teas-applicability-actn-slicing-07-genart-lc-yee-2024-08-09-00
I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
like any other last call comments.

For more information, please see the FAQ at

<https://wiki.ietf.org/en/group/gen/GenArtFAQ>.

Document: draft-ietf-teas-applicability-actn-slicing-07
Reviewer: Peter Yee
Review Date: 2024-08-09
IETF LC End Date: 2024-08-08
IESG Telechat date: Not scheduled for a telechat

Summary: This is an informational draft on how (IETF) network slicing in TE
networks can be accomplished using concepts from RFC 8453 and RFC 9543. This is
well outside of my wheelhouse, so I’m not providing any real technical input.
There are some editorial items in the document that ought to be fixed before
publication. [Ready with nits]

Major issues: None

Minor issues: None

Nits/editorial comments:

Page 1, Abstract, 4th paragraph: delete the comma between “ACTN” and “and”.

Page 6, section 2.2, 1st sentence: delete the comma between “network” and “and”.

Page 6, section 2.3, 2nd paragraph: change “sharing or” to “sharing of”.

Page 6, section 1st bullet item: delete the comma after “congestion”.

Page 11, section 3.4.1, 1st bullet item: change “is” to “are”.

Page 20, section 6, 1st paragraph, 3rd sentence: change “providers” to
“provider’s”.

Page 20, section 6, 3rd paragraph, 1st sentence: change “risk data” to “risk of
data”. Insert “and” before “no transfer of knowledge”.