Early Review of draft-ietf-teas-ietf-network-slices-18
review-ietf-teas-ietf-network-slices-18-rtgdir-early-jia-2023-01-21-00

Hello

I have been selected to do a routing directorate “early” review of this draft.
https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-teas-ietf-network-slices/

The routing directorate will, on request from the working group chair, perform
an “early” review of a draft before it is submitted for publication to the
IESG. The early review can be performed at any time during the draft’s lifetime
as a working group document. The purpose of the early review depends on the
stage that the document has reached.

The document has finished WGLC and a small update was done. The WG chair
requested a RtgDir Early Review before proceeding the document to the next
stage. Therefore, my focus for the review was to determine whether the document
is ready to be published. Please consider my comments along with the other
working group last call comments.

For more information about the Routing Directorate, please see
​http://trac.tools.ietf.org/area/rtg/trac/wiki/RtgDir

Document: draft-ietf-teas-ietf-network-slices-18.txt
Reviewer: Jia He
Review Date: 2023-01-20
Intended Status: Informational

Summary:
This draft is definitely important to facilitate a common understanding of
network slicing in the IETF context. It is basically ready for publication, but
there are some comments listed below that might be considered prior to being
submitted to the IESG.

Comments:

1) IMHO, it might make the reading easier if we can reorganize Section 4 and
Section 5 a little bit. Is it possible to move Sections 4.2.1,4.2.2,4.2.3 to
Section 5? In this way, Section 4 is left only with the definition/distinction
of IETF Network Slice and IETF Network Slice Service. The details of SDP,
connectivity construct, SLO, SLE could all be found in Section 5. The proposed
reorganization is as follows: Section 4.2.1 might become a new Section 5.3, and
Section 4.2.2 becomes a subsection 5.3.1 under the new Section 5.3. Section
4.2.3 might be added in Section 5.2, as a subsection 5.2.1. That is:

4.  IETF Network Slice
   4.1.  Definition and Scope of IETF Network Slice
   4.2.  IETF Network Slice Service
 5.  IETF Network Slice System Characteristics
   5.1.  Objectives for IETF Network Slices
     5.1.1.  Service Level Objectives
     5.1.2.  Service Level Expectations
   5.2.  IETF Network Slice Service Demarcation Points
     5.2.1.  Ancillary CEs                                                     
           (originally Section 4.2.3)
   5.3.  Connectivity Constructs                                             
   (originally Section 4.2.1)
     5.3.1   Mapping Traffic Flows to Network Realizations  (originally Section
     4.2.2)
   5.4.  IETF Network Slice Composition

The above comment is editorial and for reference only. It should not be
considered as a major issue that blocks the proceeding to the IESG.

2) The first paragraph of Section 6.1 indicates the IETF Network Slice service
customer and IETF Network Slice service provider are also stakeholders, but the
relationship with the other stakeholders, i.e. Orchestrator, NSC, Network
controller, is not mentioned. Is it possible to add some clarifications in the
text?

Nits:
1) Section 7.3, Page 33, s/it also a suitable basis..../it is also a suitable
basis.... 2) Section A.5, Page 47, s/There is nothing special of novel
about..../There is nothing special or novel about....

B.R.
Jia