Last Call Review of draft-ietf-v6ops-wireline-incremental-ipv6-05
review-ietf-v6ops-wireline-incremental-ipv6-05-genart-lc-mccann-2012-08-27-00

Request Review of draft-ietf-v6ops-wireline-incremental-ipv6
Requested rev. no specific revision (document currently at 06)
Type Last Call Review
Team General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) (genart)
Deadline 2012-08-27
Requested 2012-08-16
Other Reviews Secdir Last Call review of - by Chris Lonvick (diff)
Review State Completed
Reviewer Pete McCann
Review review-ietf-v6ops-wireline-incremental-ipv6-05-genart-lc-mccann-2012-08-27
Posted at http://www.ietf.org/mail-archive/web/gen-art/current/msg07716.html
Reviewed rev. 05 (document currently at 06)
Review result Ready
Draft last updated 2012-08-27
Review completed: 2012-08-27

Review
review-ietf-v6ops-wireline-incremental-ipv6-05-genart-lc-mccann-2012-08-27

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
< 

http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Please wait for direction from your document shepherd
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Document:  draft-ietf-v6ops-wireline-incremental-ipv6
Reviewer:  Peter McCann
Review Date:  2012-08-27
IETF LC End Date:  2012-08-27
IESG Telechat date: 2012-08-30

Summary: Ready

Major issues:  None

Minor issues:  None

Nits/editorial comments:

Section 2:
   or is in progress in
      deploying IPv6
SHOULD BE:
   or is in the process of
      deploying IPv6

Section 3.4:
   base protocol to delivery
SHOULD BE:
   base protocol to deliver

Section 4.1:
   improve it's performance
SHOULD BE:
   improve its performance

Section 4.2:
   will likely
   inherent
SHOULD BE:
   will likely
   inherit

   (i.e.  DHCPv6, DNSv4, TFTP, TR-069
   etc).
SHOULD BE:
   (i.e.  DHCPv4, DNSv4, TFTP, TR-069
   etc).

Section 4.5:
   significant about of external content
SHOULD BE:
   significant amount of external content

Section 4.6:
   host and home network supports
SHOULD BE:
   host and home network support

Section 5:
   (in percentage relative to IPv4)
SHOULD BE:
   (in percentage relative to IPv6)

Section 5.1.2:
   where downstream subscriber
   often move
SHOULD BE:
   where downstream subscribers
   often move

Section 5.1.4:
   Once
   such example may be
SHOULD BE:
   One
   such example may be

Section 5.4:
   subscriber all traffic must traverse
SHOULD BE:
  all subscriber traffic must traverse

Section 5.4.1:
   limiting the deploy based
SHOULD BE:
 limiting the deployed base

Section 5.5.1:
   on the subscribers
   premise device
SHOULD BE:
   on the subscriber
   premises device

Section 5.5.2:
   removal this undesired legacy behavior
SHOULD BE:
   removal of this undesired legacy behavior