Last Call Review of draft-ietf-ccamp-rwa-info-22
review-ietf-ccamp-rwa-info-22-genart-lc-housley-2014-11-09-00
Request | Review of | draft-ietf-ccamp-rwa-info |
---|---|---|
Requested revision | No specific revision (document currently at 24) | |
Type | Last Call Review | |
Team | General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) (genart) | |
Deadline | 2014-11-27 | |
Requested | 2014-11-06 | |
Authors | Young Lee , Greg M. Bernstein , Dan Li , Wataru Imajuku | |
I-D last updated | 2014-11-09 | |
Completed reviews |
Genart Last Call review of -22
by Russ Housley
(diff)
Genart Telechat review of -23 by Russ Housley (diff) |
|
Assignment | Reviewer | Russ Housley |
State | Completed | |
Request | Last Call review on draft-ietf-ccamp-rwa-info by General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) Assigned | |
Reviewed revision | 22 (document currently at 24) | |
Result | Almost ready | |
Completed | 2014-11-09 |
review-ietf-ccamp-rwa-info-22-genart-lc-housley-2014-11-09-00
I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at < http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>. Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments you may receive. Document: draft-ietf-ccamp-rwa-info-22 Reviewer: Russ Housley Review Date: 2014-11-09 IETF LC End Date: 2014-11-27 IESG Telechat date: unknown Summary: Almost ready; a few minor things to clear up. Major Concerns: None. Minor Concerns: In section 3, please add a sentence or two that explains switching subsystem and line subsystem. The definitions might be best appear in Section 2. I checked in RFC 6163, but I did not find a description of these terms there. Other Comments: Section 1 begins with: The purpose of the following information model for WSONs ... In my opinion, it would be better to say something like: The purpose of the WSONs information model described in this document ... Likewise, in section 3, it says: The following WSON RWA information model ... In my opinion, it would be better to say something like: The WSON RWA information model in this document ... In section 5.1, 3rd paragraph, it says: ... Since not all input ports can necessarily reach each resource block, the model starts with a resource pool input matrix RI(i,p) = {0,1} whether input port i can reach potentially reach resource block p. s/reach potentially reach/potentially reach/