Telechat Review of draft-ietf-forces-interop-08
review-ietf-forces-interop-08-genart-telechat-campbell-2013-11-27-00
| Request | Review of | draft-ietf-forces-interop |
|---|---|---|
| Requested revision | No specific revision (document currently at 09) | |
| Type | Telechat Review | |
| Team | General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) (genart) | |
| Deadline | 2013-05-28 | |
| Requested | 2013-05-16 | |
| Authors | Weiming Wang , Kentaro Ogawa , Evangelos Haleplidis , Ming Gao , Jamal Hadi Salim | |
| I-D last updated | 2013-11-27 | |
| Completed reviews |
Genart Last Call review of -07
by Ben Campbell
(diff)
Genart Telechat review of -08 by Ben Campbell (diff) Secdir Last Call review of -07 by Sam Hartman (diff) |
|
| Assignment | Reviewer | Ben Campbell |
| State | Completed | |
| Request | Telechat review on draft-ietf-forces-interop by General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) Assigned | |
| Reviewed revision | 08 (document currently at 09) | |
| Result | Ready w/nits | |
| Completed | 2013-11-27 |
review-ietf-forces-interop-08-genart-telechat-campbell-2013-11-27-00
I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at < http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>. Please wait for direction from your document shepherd or AD before posting a new version of the draft. Document: draft-ietf-forces-interop-08 Reviewer: Ben Campbell Review Date: 2013-05-29 IETF LC End Date: 2013-05-30 IESG Telechat date: (if known) Summary: This draft is mostly ready for publication as an informational RFC. All of the substantive comments from my earlier review have been addressed. Some editorial issues remain. These are of the sort that the RFC editor can probably fix, but if there are further iterations of the draft prior to approval it might be worth addressing them. Major issues: None. Minor issues: None. Nits/editorial comments: -- I previously mentioned that the draft used inconsistent verb tenses to the point of being confusing. The authors improved this by changing occurances most to past tense. However, there were some places where the change was incorrect ( section 1 paragraph 1: "This document captures" was changed to "... captured".). Also in at least one section (3.3), the previously past tense verbs were changed to future tense. -- There are a lot of missing articles, especially in text that is new to this version. -- section 1, new paragraph 5: Up to date, the 'ForCES..." I suggest changing "Up to date..." to "As of now..." or "As of the time of this writing...". Or even better, remove it completely.