Last Call Review of draft-ietf-iasa2-rfc5377bis-02
review-ietf-iasa2-rfc5377bis-02-genart-lc-davies-2019-08-14-00

Request Review of draft-ietf-iasa2-rfc5377bis
Requested rev. no specific revision (document currently at 03)
Type Last Call Review
Team General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) (genart)
Deadline 2019-08-14
Requested 2019-07-17
Authors Joel Halpern
Draft last updated 2019-08-14
Completed reviews Genart Last Call review of -02 by Elwyn Davies (diff)
Secdir Last Call review of -02 by Valery Smyslov (diff)
Assignment Reviewer Elwyn Davies 
State Completed
Review review-ietf-iasa2-rfc5377bis-02-genart-lc-davies-2019-08-14
Posted at https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/gen-art/k30gm0wccZgQTUbaEUjsE6NKzac
Reviewed rev. 02 (document currently at 03)
Review result Ready with Nits
Review completed: 2019-08-14

Review
review-ietf-iasa2-rfc5377bis-02-genart-lc-davies-2019-08-14

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
like any other last call comments.

For more information, please see the FAQ at

<https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Document: draft-ietf-iasa2-rfc5377bis-02
Reviewer: Elwyn Davies
Review Date: 2019-08-14
IETF LC End Date: 2019-08-14
IESG Telechat date: Not scheduled for a telechat

Summary:
Ready with a couple of nits.  The text of  para 2 of section 3 refers to an initial state that is not applicable to the transition which requires this update.  Emphasising continuity seems more appropriate.

Major issues:
None

Minor issues:
None

Nits/editorial comments:
Abstract, last  sentence (very picky): Technically, what has been removed from the text of RFC 5377 are references to the IAOC.  Suggest s/IASA/IAOC which was part of IASA/

s3, para 2, first sentence:  The first sentence was applicable to the original creation of the licence policies and text when responsibility was initially transferred to the trustees and is inappropriate for the current modification of the trust organisation.  It could probably be safely deleted, or the continuity could be emphasised by something like...
OLD:
   The rough consensus described in this document reflects the agreement
   of the IETF as of the IETF Last Call, and the Trustees of the IETF
   Trust are to begin drafting license text and other materials to act
   on these instructions upon IESG approval of this document for RFC
   publication.
NEW:
   To ensure continuuty, the starting point for license text and other materials 
   will be that previiysly created by the Trustees of the IETF under the authority 
   of [RFC5377] which this document supersedes.
ENDS
This requires a reference to RFC 5377.