Last Call Review of draft-ietf-nfsv4-versioning-09
review-ietf-nfsv4-versioning-09-artart-lc-miller-2017-05-12-00

Request Review of draft-ietf-nfsv4-versioning
Requested rev. no specific revision (document currently at 11)
Type Last Call Review
Team ART Area Review Team (artart)
Deadline 2017-05-12
Requested 2017-04-28
Other Reviews Genart Last Call review of -09 by Russ Housley (diff)
Review State Completed
Reviewer Matthew Miller
Review review-ietf-nfsv4-versioning-09-artart-lc-miller-2017-05-12
Posted at https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/art/9porRxEUiZi9Y-pug0Ekyv3dnhE
Reviewed rev. 09 (document currently at 11)
Review result Ready with Issues
Draft last updated 2017-05-12
Review closed: 2017-05-12

Review
review-ietf-nfsv4-versioning-09-artart-lc-miller-2017-05-12

Document: draft-ietf-nfsv4-versioning-09
IETF LC End Date: 2017-05-12
IESG Telechat date: 2017-05-25

This document provides guidance for dealing with extensions
and versioning in NFSv4, including how and when to update
minor versions.

This document is mostly ready.  Some of the grammatical choices
make for a more difficult read; the most obvious ones to me are
nits below.

Major issues:

NONE

Minor issues:

NONE

Nits/editorial comments:

* For the bullet points in this document, some end in periods and
some don't.  I recommend the authors choose one and update
accordingly.

* In section 1. "Introduction", the last sentence is very clumsy.
The Gen-ART review already points this out, and provides what I think
is a good suggested change.

* In section 4.4.2 "Establishing Interoperability", the phrase "client
would uses" should be "client uses"

* In section 5.2 "Behavioral Changes", the following sentence is
difficult parse:

   """
   One class of behavioral change involves changes in the set of errors
   to be returned in the event of various errors.
   """

I think the following has the same meaning:

   """
   One class of behavior change involves changes in the set of errors
   to be returned when various failure conditions occur.
   """

That's not tremendously better, but I think it's a little easier to
wrap one's mind around.

* In the title for Section 9.3 "XDR Corrections to REQUIRED features",
"Features" should be capitalized.

* In Section 9.3 "XDR Corrections to REQUIRED features", the word
"correct" should be "corrected" in the sentence "Such clients would only
be capable of interoperating with servers that supported the correct
version."