A YANG Network Data Model for Service Attachment Points (SAPs)
draft-ietf-opsawg-sap-15

Thank you to Ivaylo Petrov for the SECDIR review

** Section 1.
   e.g., to feed an intelligence that

Is the “intelligence” referenced here talking about some autonomous or automated process?

** Section 8.
      This subtree specifies the configurations of the nodes in a SAP
      network model.  Unexpected changes to this subtree (e.g.,
      associating a SAP with another parent termination point) could
      lead to service disruption and/or network misbehavior.

Could “network misbehavior” be described less colloquially?  Is it “configuration of the network inconsistent with the intent of the operator and customer”?

# Internet AD comments for draft-ietf-opsawg-sap-13
CC @ekline

syntax: https://github.com/mnot/ietf-comments/blob/main/format.md

## Nits

### S6

* "to which the SAP is attached to." -> "to which the SAP is attached."

# GEN AD review of draft-ietf-opsawg-sap-13

CC @larseggert

Thanks to Linda Dunbar for the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) review
(https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/gen-art/ItsyANCW6Oj_lsbpj7gAxWiyOfU).

## Comments

### Inclusive language

Found terminology that should be reviewed for inclusivity; see
https://www.rfc-editor.org/part2/#inclusive_language for background and more
guidance:

 * Term `traditional`; alternatives might be `classic`, `classical`, `common`,
   `conventional`, `customary`, `fixed`, `habitual`, `historic`,
   `long-established`, `popular`, `prescribed`, `regular`, `rooted`,
   `time-honored`, `universal`, `widely used`, `widespread`

## Nits

All comments below are about very minor potential issues that you may choose to
address in some way - or ignore - as you see fit. Some were flagged by
automated tools (via https://github.com/larseggert/ietf-reviewtool), so there
will likely be some false positives. There is no need to let me know what you
did with these suggestions.

### Outdated references

Document references `draft-ietf-teas-ietf-network-slices-17`, but `-18` is the
latest available revision.

### Grammar/style

#### "Table of Contents", paragraph 1
```
iew can be used, e.g., to feed an intelligence that is responsible for servic
                               ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
```
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply
"intelligence".

#### Section 2, paragraph 1
```
RFC4026]). Customer Edge (CE): An equipment that is dedicated to a particular
                               ^^^^^^^^^^^^
```
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply
"equipment".

#### Section 2, paragraph 3
```
itch, etc. Provider Edge (PE): An equipment owned and managed by the service
                               ^^^^^^^^^^^^
```
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply
"equipment".

#### Section 5, paragraph 22
```
and its parent interface are present but the parent interface is disabled, t
                                    ^^^^
```
Use a comma before "but" if it connects two independent clauses (unless they
are closely connected and short).

#### Section 10.2, paragraph 29
```
oses, this section focuses on the so called "Option A" but similar examples c
                                  ^^^^^^^^^
```
The expression "so-called" is usually spelled with a hyphen.

## Notes

This review is in the ["IETF Comments" Markdown format][ICMF], You can use the
[`ietf-comments` tool][ICT] to automatically convert this review into
individual GitHub issues. Review generated by the [`ietf-reviewtool`][IRT].

[ICMF]: https://github.com/mnot/ietf-comments/blob/main/format.md
[ICT]: https://github.com/mnot/ietf-comments
[IRT]: https://github.com/larseggert/ietf-reviewtool

Thank you to the authors for writing this, as well as to Menachem for the OpsDir review.

Thanks for working on this specification. 

I must say, without the right context and knowledge about network topology in this context it is very hard to follow figure 3. A description of the figure or reference of the document one should read to understand the topology would be a great help.