Last Call Review of draft-ietf-core-etch-02
review-ietf-core-etch-02-genart-lc-holmberg-2016-09-20-00

Request Review of draft-ietf-core-etch
Requested rev. no specific revision (document currently at 04)
Type Last Call Review
Team General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) (genart)
Deadline 2016-10-11
Requested 2016-08-25
Draft last updated 2016-09-20
Completed reviews Genart Last Call review of -02 by Christer Holmberg (diff)
Secdir Last Call review of -02 by Phillip Hallam-Baker (diff)
Opsdir Last Call review of -02 by Sheng Jiang (diff)
Assignment Reviewer Christer Holmberg
State Completed
Review review-ietf-core-etch-02-genart-lc-holmberg-2016-09-20
Reviewed rev. 02 (document currently at 04)
Review result Almost Ready
Review completed: 2016-09-20

Review
review-ietf-core-etch-02-genart-lc-holmberg-2016-09-20

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
<

http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>

Document:               draft-ietf-core-etch-02
Reviewer:               Christer Holmberg

Review Date:            20 September 2016
IETF LC End Date:        7 September 2016
IETF Telechat Date:     13 October 2016
 

Summary:

The document is well written, and is almost ready for publication as
standards track RFC. However,
I have a number of editorial issues that I¹d like the authors to address.

Major Issues:           None

Minor Issues:           None

Editorial Issues:


Q1 (Abstract):

The Abstract says:

          "The existing Constrained Application Protocol (CoAP) methods
only allow access to a
           complete resource, not to parts of a resource.²

I suggest to say ³The CoAP methods  defined in RFC 7252 only
allowŠ²Because as possible new CoAP methods
are defined in the future, the ³existing methods² statement may no longer
be true. This also makes it clear
that, when the document was written, RFC 7252 was the only spec you used
as input for existing methods.


Q2 (Abstract):

In general, I think the Abstract contains too much detail. Wouldn¹t it be
enough to keep the 1st paragraph, and
add the first paragraph of section 1?

Something like:   

          "The Constrained Application Protocol (CoAP) methods defined in
RFC 7252 only
           allow access to a complete resource, not to parts of a
resource.  In
           case of resources with larger or complex data, or in situations
where
           a resource continuity is required, replacing or requesting the
whole
           resource is undesirable.  Several applications using CoAP will
need
           to perform partial resource accesses.

           This specification defines the new Constrained Application
Protocol (CoAP) 
           methods, FETCH, PATCH and iPATCH, which are used to access and
update parts 
           of a resource.²

The rest of the Abstract text belongs e.g., in the Introduction section,
in my opinion.


Q3 (Introduction):

I think you need more background text before you start talking about the
methods. As suggested in Q2, move some
text from the Abstract to the Introduction.


Q4 (Section 2):

The text says: "Implementations MAY use a request body of any content type
with the FETCH method;²

First, I am not sure whether ³MAY² (uppercase) is appropriate here. What
about saying ³can² och ³may² (lowercase)?

Second, would it be better to say ³attach a body² instead of ³use a body²?

Third, I think it would be good to add text about "safe and idempotent²
also to the Security Considerations section.


Q5 (Section 2.2.2):

Please add reference for Content-Format option.


Q6 (Section 2.5):

Is there a reason this text is not in Section 4?


Q7 (Section 2.6):

First, why not simply calling the section ³Example² or ³FETCH Example²?
The same comment apply to
section 3.1 for PATCH/iPATCH examples.

Second, is the first paragraph really Example text? Isn¹t it normative
text that should be somewhere else?

Third, is a reference for JSON needed on first occurrence?

Fourth, I don¹t think you need to say ³might² in the "JSON document that
might be returned by GET² sentence. It¹s
an example, so simply say "JSON document returned by GET².


Q8 (Section 2 general):

Is there a reason there is no ³Error Handling² subsection for FETCH?


Q9 (Section 3):

As far as I know, HTTP (and CoAP, I assume) method names are case
insensitive. Even though it sounds cool and trendy, so
you really need to say ³iPATCH², and not ³IPATCH²? Implementers may not
thing that one MUST use lowercase ³i², which I
assume is not correct, and I am not aware of any other HTTP methods (or
SIP, RTSP etc methods) where one would mix
upper- and lower case in the method name.


Q10 (Section 4):

I think you should use another section name than ³Discussion².