Last Call Review of draft-ietf-hip-native-nat-traversal-27

Request Review of draft-ietf-hip-native-nat-traversal
Requested rev. no specific revision (document currently at 33)
Type Last Call Review
Team General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) (genart)
Deadline 2018-02-26
Requested 2018-02-12
Authors Ari Keränen, Jan Melen, Miika Komu
Draft last updated 2018-02-26
Completed reviews Opsdir Last Call review of -27 by Tianran Zhou (diff)
Tsvart Last Call review of -27 by Colin Perkins (diff)
Genart Last Call review of -27 by Roni Even (diff)
Secdir Last Call review of -28 by Carl Wallace (diff)
Genart Telechat review of -28 by Roni Even (diff)
Secdir Telechat review of -30 by Carl Wallace (diff)
Assignment Reviewer Roni Even 
State Completed
Review review-ietf-hip-native-nat-traversal-27-genart-lc-even-2018-02-26
Reviewed rev. 27 (document currently at 33)
Review result Almost Ready
Review completed: 2018-02-26


I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
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Document: draft-ietf-hip-native-nat-traversal-??
Reviewer: Roni Even
Review Date: 2018-02-26
IETF LC End Date: 2018-02-26
IESG Telechat date: Not scheduled for a telechat

The document is almost ready for publication as a standard track RFC

Major issues:

Minor issues:

1. in section 4.2 "Gathering of candidates MAY also be performed by other means than described in this section.  For example, the candidates could be
   gathered as specified in Section 4.2 of [RFC5770] if STUN servers are available, or if the host has just a single interface and no STUN orData Relay Server are available." I did not see this a different ways since section 3 says "The hosts use either Control Relay Servers or Data Relay Servers (or other infrastructure including STUN or TURN servers) for gathering the candidates." so STUN is mentioned also here.

2. In section 4.6.2 "The connectivity check messages MUST be paced by the Ta value negotiated during the base exchange as described in Section 4.4.  If neither one of the hosts announced a minimum pacing value, a value of  20 ms SHOULD be used." in section 4.4 the default value is 50 ms?

3. in section 5.4 what about "ICE-STUN-UDP         2" ;  I assume it is not relevant but this is also the IANA registeration

4. In section 5.5 "The TRANSACTION_PACING is a new parameter" it is not new it is in RFC5770

5. In section 5.10 "SERVER_REFLEXIVE_CANDIDATE_ALLOCATION_FAILED  63" is the only new one. this also relates to section 7 that says that all error values in section 5.10 are new while the rest are in RFC5770. Also there is no mention in section 7 of which registry is used for the error values.

Nits/editorial comments: 
1. Expand SPI and LSI when first appear in the document

2. in section 2 "the base of an candidate" should be "a candidate"

3. In section 3 "so it is the Initiator may also have registered to a Control and/or Data Relay Server" maybe "so  the Initiator may also need to register to a Control and/or Data Relay Server"

4. In section 4.2 "However, it is RECOMMENDED that a Data Relay Client registers a new server reflexive candidate for each its peer for the reasons described" maybe "for each of its..."

5. In section 4.2 I could not parse the sentence "where Ta is the value used for Ta is the value used for the"

6. in section 4.6 "as defined in section in 6.7 in [RFC7401]:"  change to "as defined in section 6.7 in [RFC7401]:"