Last Call Review of draft-ietf-i2rs-problem-statement-09
review-ietf-i2rs-problem-statement-09-secdir-lc-kent-2016-02-04-00

SECDIR early
        review of
        draft-ietf-i2rs-problem-statement-09




 




 




I
        have reviewed this document as part of the
        security directorate's ongoing effort to review all IETF
        documents being
        processed by the IESG.

  

These
        comments
        were written with the intent of improving security requirements
        and
        considerations in IETF drafts.

  

Comments
not
        addressed in last call may be included in AD reviews during the
        IESG
        review.

  

Document editors
        and WG chairs
        should treat these comments just like any other last call
        comments.




 




This is a
        relatively short
        document describing the problem being addressed by the I2RS WG,
        and
        establishing some requirements for solutions. I reviewed the -04
        version of
        this document in December 2014. This version is slightly longer
        and is
        improved.




 




In my
        previous review I
        noted a coupe of typos that have been fixed in this version. I
        also suggested
        that the Security Considerations section be revised. Although
        this section is
        still only one paragraph, the authors have removed the odd
        language I cited and
        have provided a pointer to the I2RS arch document. Thus the
        section has been
        approved.




 




I have a few
        suggested
        edits:




 







The
          penultimate paragraph
          on page 2 contains a sentence that runs 


          on for over 8 lines! Please break this
          into 2-3 sentences.




 




colocated
within
          -> co-located within




 




re-organize
          the document
          so that Figure 1 fits on a single page




 




must
          select the suitable protocol(s) -> must select suitable
          protocol(s)




 




between
          the I2RS Clients and I2RS Agent -> between I2RS Clients and
          I2RS Agents




 




must
          identify or define is a set -> must identify or define a
          set




 




the
          last paragraph on page 5 flips between data model (singular)
          and data models
          (plural). Make this consistent.




 




The
          example for recursion in Section 3 (paragraph 1 is confusing,
          at least to me).




 




may
          also need to be -> also may need to be