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Last Call Review of draft-ietf-ippm-rfc8889bis-02
review-ietf-ippm-rfc8889bis-02-genart-lc-housley-2022-06-29-00

Request Review of draft-ietf-ippm-rfc8889bis
Requested revision No specific revision (document currently at 04)
Type Last Call Review
Team General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) (genart)
Deadline 2022-06-21
Requested 2022-06-07
Authors Giuseppe Fioccola , Mauro Cociglio , Amedeo Sapio , Riccardo Sisto , Tianran Zhou
I-D last updated 2022-06-29
Completed reviews Genart Last Call review of -02 by Russ Housley (diff)
Assignment Reviewer Russ Housley
State Completed
Request Last Call review on draft-ietf-ippm-rfc8889bis by General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) Assigned
Posted at https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/gen-art/OTAnYgNGwDIRaQu_9IDo1QN1KHM
Reviewed revision 02 (document currently at 04)
Result Ready w/nits
Completed 2022-06-29
review-ietf-ippm-rfc8889bis-02-genart-lc-housley-2022-06-29-00
I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
like any other last call comments.

For more information, please see the FAQ at
<http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Document: draft-ietf-ippm-rfc8889bis-02
Reviewer: Russ Housley
Review Date: 2022-06-29
IETF LC End Date: 2022-06-21
IESG Telechat date: 2022-07-14


Summary: Ready with Nits


Major Concerns: None


Minor Concerns:

Section 8 says: "... can be incorporated into A, ..."
I think that "A" is described in Figure 5, but it took me
a few minutes to figure that out.  Please clarify.


Section 9 says:

   Either one or two flag bits might be available for marking in
   different deployments:
   
This is followed by three labeled paragraphs.  Can this sentence
be expanded to cover all three of the paragraphs that follow?


Nits:

Section 5.1: s/split our monitoring/split the monitoring/

Section 5.1: s/In our monitoring network/In the monitoring network/

Section 5.1 says:

   The algorithm described above network is an iterative clustering
   algorithm, but it is also possible to apply a recursive clustering
   algorithm by using the node-node adjacency matrix representation
   [IEEE-ACM-ToN-MPNPM].

I cannot understand is sentence.