Skip to main content

Last Call Review of draft-ietf-opsawg-yang-vpn-service-pm-12
review-ietf-opsawg-yang-vpn-service-pm-12-genart-lc-davies-2022-10-10-00

Request Review of draft-ietf-opsawg-yang-vpn-service-pm
Requested revision No specific revision (document currently at 15)
Type Last Call Review
Team General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) (genart)
Deadline 2022-10-04
Requested 2022-09-20
Authors Bo Wu , Qin Wu , Mohamed Boucadair , Oscar Gonzalez de Dios , Bin Wen
I-D last updated 2022-10-10
Completed reviews Rtgdir Early review of -08 by Dhruv Dhody (diff)
Yangdoctors Early review of -05 by Ladislav Lhotka (diff)
Yangdoctors Last Call review of -07 by Radek Krejčí (diff)
Tsvart Last Call review of -11 by Bob Briscoe (diff)
Genart Last Call review of -12 by Elwyn B. Davies (diff)
Secdir Last Call review of -12 by Daniel Migault (diff)
Assignment Reviewer Elwyn B. Davies
State Completed
Request Last Call review on draft-ietf-opsawg-yang-vpn-service-pm by General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) Assigned
Posted at https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/msg/gen-art/GZGiqBYW9PpHdVBNPE6f_f6JucU
Reviewed revision 12 (document currently at 15)
Result Ready w/nits
Completed 2022-10-10
review-ietf-opsawg-yang-vpn-service-pm-12-genart-lc-davies-2022-10-10-00
I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
like any other last call comments.

For more information, please see the FAQ at

<https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Document: draft-ietf-opsawg-yang-vpn-service-pm-12
Reviewer: Elwyn Davies
Review Date: 2022-10-10
IETF LC End Date: 2022-10-04
IESG Telechat date: Not scheduled for a telechat

Summary:  Ready with a few minor nits.  Apologies for the rather late delivery.

Major issues:

Minor issues:

s4.4:  The following text appears in the section on 'Percentile Parameters':

      Setting a percentile to
      0.00 indicates the client is not interested in receiving
      particular percentile.

Given the discussion of configurable items in Section 6 it would be helpful to
mention that these items and other items marked 'rw' and with names ending in
'?' can be configured rather than just saying 'Setting'.

Nits/editorial comments:

General: The document contains a lot of VPN terminology and network types using
acronyms such as CE, PE etc.   Some of these are defined in Sections 2/2.1 but
a pointer to a document that defines the VPN technology (such as RFC 4026)
would be helpful.

s1:  The abbreviations PE, CE and P are used here before their definitions in
s2.  I guess they had better be expanded on first use.

s2.1: The references for definitions of MPLS, OWAMP and TWAMP introduced in s3
would be usefully noted here.

s3, para 3: s/involved devices/devices involved/

s3.1, para 1: s/Some applications/Some applications,/

s4.1, para before Fig 4, sentence 1: s/VPN Network PM YANG module/the VPN
Network PM YANG module/

s5: There are 3 instances of 'into 0.0' in the percentile definitions of
augment "/nw:networks/nw:network/nt:link" that should be 'to 0.0'.