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Last Call Review of draft-ietf-trill-irb-13
review-ietf-trill-irb-13-genart-lc-dupont-2016-06-22-00

Request Review of draft-ietf-trill-irb
Requested revision No specific revision (document currently at 14)
Type Last Call Review
Team General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) (genart)
Deadline 2016-06-24
Requested 2016-06-16
Authors Hao Weiguo , Yizhou Li , Andrew Qu , Muhammad Durrani , Ponkarthick Sivamurugan
I-D last updated 2016-06-22
Completed reviews Genart Last Call review of -13 by Francis Dupont (diff)
Secdir Last Call review of -13 by Shawn M Emery (diff)
Opsdir Last Call review of -10 by Scott O. Bradner (diff)
Rtgdir Early review of -09 by Russ White (diff)
Rtgdir Early review of -09 by Susan Hares (diff)
Rtgdir Early review of -09 by Hannes Gredler (diff)
Assignment Reviewer Francis Dupont
State Completed
Request Last Call review on draft-ietf-trill-irb by General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) Assigned
Reviewed revision 13 (document currently at 14)
Result Ready
Completed 2016-06-22
review-ietf-trill-irb-13-genart-lc-dupont-2016-06-22-00
I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
like any other last call comments.

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Document: draft-ietf-trill-irb-13.txt 
Reviewer: Francis Dupont
Review Date: 20160618
IETF LC End Date: 20160624
IESG Telechat date: 20150630

Summary: Ready

Major issues: None

Minor issues: None

Nits/editorial comments:
 - you have 6 (with a soft limit of 5) authors

 - 1 page 3: please expand the first occurrence of the FGL abbrev

  (in theory you should expand the TRILL abbrev and in the Abstract too
   but IMHO it is unlikely to get a reader of this document who does
   not know the TRILL abbrev meaning and raises a concern. BTW VLAN
   is well known (*) so doesn't need to be expanded)
   (* starred in 

http://www.rfc-editor.org/materials/abbrev.expansion.txt

)

 - 1 page 3: i.e. -> i.e.,

 - 3.1 page 5: IMHO the title should be on the next page (page 6).
  This will be fixed by the RFC Editor anyway.

 - 3.1 pages 6 and further: congratulations, you use IP addresses
  from blocks reserved for documentation.

 - 5.2 page 12: dependant -> dependent

 - 5.4 pages 14 and 15: I have an academic question: did you find
  some cases of external redirects? This term is not common
  (nor use cases :-) so I copy a definition I gave during a discussion
  about SEND (the secure IPv6 neighbor discovery):
   - give the link-layer address of an off-link destination which is
     in fact on-link. This "external redirect" is used for IPv6 over
     ATM to implement NHRP short cuts for instance.

 - 6 page 15: another example of strange page layout that should be
  fixed by the RFC Editor.

 - 7.1 page 19: TENANT-LABEL -> TENANT-GWMAC-LABEL
  (cf 9 IANA Considerations page 22 )

Regards

Francis.Dupont at fdupont.fr