Early Review of draft-ietf-nmop-terminology-07
review-ietf-nmop-terminology-07-iotdir-early-bormann-2024-11-21-00

(Insert IOTDIR review boilerplate here.)

Thank you for doing this work!

I'm not an expert for network management; my work in this area has
been limited to helping to push the CORECONF effort to completion.

There are indeed quite a few terms here where I would have had a warm
fuzzy feeling about knowing what they mean that also would be wrong
and ultimately inhibiting communication.

You will understand that a document like this inevitably elicits the
utmost form of pickiness that I'm capable of, so please don't count
the many comments I have as an indication of failure -- actually, the
fact that this document raises questions is a measure of success.
(I don't envy you for needing to process them now, though.)

Any page numbers below are those in the plaintext form of the I-D.


## Minor

### §2.1, page 3/4
Does the Network Monitoring process include the processing of telemetry?
(It appears so later in the document, so if there is a hierarchy, as
the end of 2.1 suggests, maybe that should be said here already?)
By the way,
the term "Telemetry" apparently is used not just for “push” telemetry,
but also for “pull” polling?
(Not the definition of “telemetry” I’m used to, but that may be my
problem.)

### §2.2, page 4/5: External System
I don't know what a "control system" is.
If that can be defined, the definition of "External System" might be
clear, but still surprising.
The use of this term later in the document also is surprising, it
seems to be simply the system that we are trying to work with.
Now what is the "scope" of the "control system"?

### §2.2, page 5: Controlled External System
So a “Controlled External System” is not an “External System”?
That would be an unusual grouping of terms, and Figure 1 seems to
suggest something else.
(Maybe I just don't understand "External System", see above.)

### §2.2, page 5: Condition
   Condition:  The interpretation of the values of a set of
"The" -- There is only one such interpretation?
(Maybe the parenthesis is trying to supply additional arguments to
this function, but then it uses the undefined term "working order"
that is not used elsewhere, apparently.)

### §2.2, page 5: Change
"perspective" -- This appears to be an important term.
Should it have its own definition?
Is this the same as “viewpoint/perspective” elsewhere (e.g. in
"Relevance") -- is this different from a plain "perspective"?
“viewpoint/perspective” is used three times in this document,
“perspective” without “viewpoint/” four times.
Probably best to define this term.

### §2.2, page 6: Event
      *  Compared with a change, which is over a period of time, an
         event happens at a measurable instant.
"a change, which is over a period of time": Not in its definition:
   Change:  In the context of monitoring network resources, the
      variation in values associated with a characteristic of a resource
      at a specific time or over time.
(Note "at a specific time".)

### §2.2, page 6: Problem

* Anchored Note, page 6
      The resolution of a problem does not necessarily act on the thing
      that has the problem.
What is a "thing"?
Do we need another term for “component”, …?
(See also "a software" below.)

### §2.2, page 7: Problem
         unresolved problem is now resolved.  But this leaves a further
         problem still unresolved (why did the microbend occur in the
         first place?).
"problem still unresolved":  This kind of problem is rather different
from the kind of problem that requires immediate action.
The term “resolved”/“resolution” is a bit wobbly because of this; it
doesn’t help that it is not defined.

### §2.2, page 7: Incident
      quality of a network service, or the below-target health of a
"health" - What is that?
This is the only occurrence [sic] of this word in this document.

### §2.2, page 8: Intermittent
   Intermittent:  A state that is not maintained, but keeps occurring in
What does "not maintained" mean?
* subject to maintenance (i.e., someone/thing works on this), or
* remaining in one state (the car maintained 200 km/h)?

### §2.2, page 8: Intermittent
      some meaningfully short time frame.
"meaningfully short" -- What is the source of meaning here?
(Time frame < reaction/resolution time, I’d expect?)

### §3, page 8, Figure 1
"Controlled External System" here is more like a term I would have
expected here.
I’m now completely lost about "Controlled External System".
I thought these were out of scope?

### §3, page 8
   In practice, the Characteristic may vary in an analog manner over
"analog"?
Do you mean "continuous"?
(A bit rate such as bit/s is not “analog”)

### §3, page 8
"Analogue Values" -- Should this be a defined term?

### §3, page 8
   Values that may be deemed Relevant Values, or may be evaluated over
   time as shown in Figure 6.
Interesting forward reference.  Should this be one?
If yes, maybe indicate this in your language (“later”, “below”, …).

### §3, page 12
   The final figure in this section (Figure 6) shows how thresholds are
   important in the consideration of Analogue Values and Events.  The
"Analogue Values" -- I still don’t know what that is here (certainly
not just what I would consider to be an analog value, such as a
temperature before having been digitized).


## Nits

### Abstract, page 1: Hard to parse:
   other work related to network fault and problem management in
   particular YANG models and management protocols that report, make
(This is probably not about managing the faults we find in YANG
models, or is it?)

### §1, page 2: Typo
   on those events have a negative effect on the network's ability to
   on those events that have a negative effect on the network's ability to

### §2.1, page 4: Citation
      dimensional data modelling ([wikipedia]).  This could be a
      dimensional data modelling [wikipedia].  This could be a
Do not use parentheses around brackets.
Do use a label that indicates what this is about, not its source.

### §2.1, page 4: grammar
      process, could be a software, a system, or a human that analyzes
      process, could be a piece of software, a system, or a human that analyzes
Software is not countable.

### §2.2, page 5: "Resource"
      collection of other resources (for example, a network node is a
      collection of interfaces).
Comprises, yes. “Is”?
Maybe that is not a good example.

### §2.2, page 5: Can't parse
      *  A characteristic may be considered with respect to the concept
         of dimensional that is built on facts (see 'value', below) and
Can’t parse "concept of dimensional".  Dimensional what?

### §2.2, page 5: Typo
   Value:  A measurable amount which may be in the form of an integer
      (e.g., a count) or on a continuous variable (e.g., an analogue
   Value:  A measurable amount which may be in the form of an integer
      (e.g., a count) or of a continuous variable (e.g., an analogue
on -> of

### §2.2, page 6: Typo
   Problem:  A state regarded as undesirable and may require remedial
   Problem:  A state regarded as undesirable, which may require remedial


### §2.2, page 7: Typo
         (the reason for the temporary loss of light is traced to a
         microbend in the fiber that is repaired) resulting in that
         unresolved problem is now resolved.  But this leaves a further
->       (the reason for the temporary loss of light is traced to a
         microbend in the fiber that is repaired) resulting in that
         unresolved problem now having been resolved.  But this leaves a further

### §2.2, page 7: ambiguous/hard to parse
      of view, an alarm can be as a state in its own right and the
"be as"?

### §2.2, page 5 vs. §3, page 8
"analog" vs. "analogue"
Please decide between US and UK spelling.

### §4, page 13: Typo
      swamped an unable to properly manage the network.
      swamped and unable to properly manage the network.

### §5, page 13: unclear reference
   In general, Fault Management should not expose information about end-
   user activities or user data.  The main privacy concern is for a
   network operator to keep control of all information about faults to
   protect their privacy and the details of how they operate their
   network.
They = a network operator?

### §5, page 15: citation
(1)
"Web page Wikipedia"
(Calling this a “web page” is like calling RFCs “web pages”…)
(2)
I’m sure there is a standard way to reference Wikipedia articles; this
will need to include revision information, as you can’t predict in
which direction the Wikipedia entry is going to evolve.