Last Call Review of draft-ietf-radext-radius-extensions-08
review-ietf-radext-radius-extensions-08-genart-lc-shirazipour-2013-01-26-00
| Request | Review of | draft-ietf-radext-radius-extensions |
|---|---|---|
| Requested revision | No specific revision (document currently at 13) | |
| Type | Last Call Review | |
| Team | General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) (genart) | |
| Deadline | 2013-01-25 | |
| Requested | 2013-01-10 | |
| Authors | Alan DeKok , Avi Lior | |
| I-D last updated | 2013-01-26 | |
| Completed reviews |
Genart Last Call review of -08
by Meral Shirazipour
(diff)
Genart Telechat review of -11 by Meral Shirazipour (diff) |
|
| Assignment | Reviewer | Meral Shirazipour |
| State | Completed | |
| Request | Last Call review on draft-ietf-radext-radius-extensions by General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) Assigned | |
| Reviewed revision | 08 (document currently at 13) | |
| Result | Ready w/nits | |
| Completed | 2013-01-26 |
review-ietf-radext-radius-extensions-08-genart-lc-shirazipour-2013-01-26-00
I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq> . Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments you may receive. Document: draft-ietf-radext-radius-extensions-08 Reviewer: Meral Shirazipour Review Date: 2013-01-25 IETF LC End Date: 2013-01-25 IESG Telechat date: NA Summary: This draft is almost ready to be published as Proposed Standard but I do have some comments. Major issues: none Minor issues: none Nits/editorial comments: -[Page 6], Section 1.1.1, "One gaol" --typo--> goal -[Page 7], Section 1.2. Terminology, ---> first two paragraphs could start with Capital letter like the rest. -[page 13], Section starting with "Note that [RFC2865] Section 5 says:"----> it seems to have some formatting issue with the end of lines -[page 13], attribute format Figure is cut at the end of the page. Also Figure captions are a good idea throughout. -[Page 17], Figure is cut at the end of the page. -[Page 19], paragraph 3, "these suggestion" ----> suggestions -[Page 19], Section 2.7.2, "For example, and attribute" ----> an attribute -[Page 20], paragraph 1, 'wth TLV-Type" ---> with -[Page 25], Figure is cut at the end of the page. -[Page 30], "eight (8) less then" ---> than -[Page 30], Figure is cut at the end of the page. -[Page 31], "eight (8) less then" ---> than -[Page 32], "eight (8) less then" ---> than -[Page 40], "made from from" --typo--> remove one "from" -[Page 40], "exended space"--typo-->extended -[Page 41], "and and totals" --typo--> remove one "and" -[Page 42], Section 7, "will likey"--typo-->likely -[Page 44], paragraph 4,"The progam has additional" --typo--> program -[Page 44], paragraph 4,"comprehensability" --typo--> comprehensibility -[Page 50], Section 10.3 "perferential" --typo--> preferential -[Page 55], Appendix A, paragraph 2, "given in Section 8" --nit?--> it should be "Section 9 - Example" Best Regards, Meral --- Meral Shirazipour Ericsson Research www.ericsson.com