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Last Call Review of draft-ietf-radext-radius-extensions-08

Request Review of draft-ietf-radext-radius-extensions
Requested revision No specific revision (document currently at 13)
Type Last Call Review
Team General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) (genart)
Deadline 2013-01-25
Requested 2013-01-10
Authors Alan DeKok , Avi Lior
I-D last updated 2013-01-26
Completed reviews Genart Last Call review of -08 by Meral Shirazipour (diff)
Genart Telechat review of -11 by Meral Shirazipour (diff)
Assignment Reviewer Meral Shirazipour
State Completed
Review review-ietf-radext-radius-extensions-08-genart-lc-shirazipour-2013-01-26
Reviewed revision 08 (document currently at 13)
Result Ready w/nits
Completed 2013-01-26

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on Gen-ART,
please see the FAQ at <>

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments you may

Document: draft-ietf-radext-radius-extensions-08

Reviewer: Meral Shirazipour

Review Date: 2013-01-25

IETF LC End Date: 2013-01-25

IESG Telechat date: NA


This draft is almost ready to be published as Proposed Standard but I do have
some comments.

Major issues:


Minor issues:


Nits/editorial comments:

-[Page 6], Section 1.1.1, "One gaol" --typo--> goal

-[Page 7], Section 1.2.  Terminology, ---> first two paragraphs could start
with Capital letter like the rest.

-[page 13], Section starting with "Note that [RFC2865] Section 5 says:"----> it
seems to have some formatting issue with the end of lines

-[page 13], attribute format Figure is cut at the end of the page. Also Figure
captions are a good idea throughout.

-[Page 17], Figure is cut at the end of the page.

-[Page 19], paragraph 3, "these suggestion" ----> suggestions

-[Page 19], Section 2.7.2, "For example, and attribute" ----> an attribute

-[Page 20], paragraph 1, 'wth TLV-Type" ---> with

-[Page 25], Figure is cut at the end of the page.

-[Page 30], "eight (8) less then" ---> than

-[Page 30], Figure is cut at the end of the page.

-[Page 31], "eight (8) less then" ---> than

-[Page 32], "eight (8) less then" ---> than

-[Page 40], "made from from" --typo--> remove one "from"

-[Page 40], "exended space"--typo-->extended

-[Page 41], "and and totals" --typo--> remove one "and"

-[Page 42], Section 7, "will likey"--typo-->likely

-[Page 44], paragraph 4,"The progam has additional" --typo--> program

-[Page 44], paragraph 4,"comprehensability" --typo--> comprehensibility

-[Page 50], Section 10.3 "perferential" --typo--> preferential

-[Page 55], Appendix A, paragraph 2, "given in Section 8" --nit?--> it should
be "Section 9 - Example"

Best Regards,



Meral Shirazipour